Author Archives: Naptimewriting

Guest post

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Not really a guest post. An email I got from the White House. Instead of forwarding, I’m pasting it here so we can debate the facts.

Health Insurance Reform Reality Check

8 ways reform provides security and stability to those with or without coverage

1. Ends Discrimination for Pre-Existing Conditions: Insurance companies will be prohibited from refusing you coverage because of your medical history.
2. Ends Exorbitant Out-of-Pocket Expenses, Deductibles or Co-Pays: Insurance companies will have to abide by yearly caps on how much they can charge for out-of-pocket expenses.
3. Ends Cost-Sharing for Preventive Care: Insurance companies must fully cover, without charge, regular checkups and tests that help you prevent illness, such as mammograms or eye and foot exams for diabetics.
4. Ends Dropping of Coverage for Seriously Ill: Insurance companies will be prohibited from dropping or watering down insurance coverage for those who become seriously ill.
5. Ends Gender Discrimination: Insurance companies will be prohibited from charging you more because of your gender.
6. Ends Annual or Lifetime Caps on Coverage: Insurance companies will be prevented from placing annual or lifetime caps on the coverage you receive.
7. Extends Coverage for Young Adults: Children would continue to be eligible for family coverage through the age of 26.
8. Guarantees Insurance Renewal: Insurance companies will be required to renew any policy as long as the policyholder pays their premium in full. Insurance companies won’t be allowed to refuse renewal because someone became sick.

Learn more and get details: http://www.WhiteHouse.gov/health-insurance-consumer-protections/

8 common myths about health insurance reform

1. Reform will stop “rationing” – not increase it: It’s a myth that reform will mean a “government takeover” of health care or lead to “rationing.” To the contrary, reform will forbid many forms of rationing that are currently being used by insurance companies.
2. We can’t afford reform: It’s the status quo we can’t afford. It’s a myth that reform will bust the budget. To the contrary, the President has identified ways to pay for the vast majority of the up-front costs by cutting waste, fraud, and abuse within existing government health programs; ending big subsidies to insurance companies; and increasing efficiency with such steps as coordinating care and streamlining paperwork. In the long term, reform can help bring down costs that will otherwise lead to a fiscal crisis.
3. Reform would encourage “euthanasia”: It does not. It’s a malicious myth that reform would encourage or even require euthanasia for seniors. For seniors who want to consult with their family and physicians about end-of life decisions, reform will help to cover these voluntary, private consultations for those who want help with these personal and difficult family decisions.
4. Vets’ health care is safe and sound: It’s a myth that health insurance reform will affect veterans’ access to the care they get now. To the contrary, the President’s budget significantly expands coverage under the VA, extending care to 500,000 more veterans who were previously excluded. The VA Healthcare system will continue to be available for all eligible veterans.
5. Reform will benefit small business – not burden it: It’s a myth that health insurance reform will hurt small businesses. To the contrary, reform will ease the burdens on small businesses, provide tax credits to help them pay for employee coverage and help level the playing field with big firms who pay much less to cover their employees on average.
6. Your Medicare is safe, and stronger with reform: It’s myth that Health Insurance Reform would be financed by cutting Medicare benefits. To the contrary, reform will improve the long-term financial health of Medicare, ensure better coordination, eliminate waste and unnecessary subsidies to insurance companies, and help to close the Medicare “doughnut” hole to make prescription drugs more affordable for seniors.
7. You can keep your own insurance: It’s myth that reform will force you out of your current insurance plan or force you to change doctors. To the contrary, reform will expand your choices, not eliminate them.
8. No, government will not do anything with your bank account: It is an absurd myth that government will be in charge of your bank accounts. Health insurance reform will simplify administration, making it easier and more convenient for you to pay bills in a method that you choose. Just like paying a phone bill or a utility bill, you can pay by traditional check, or by a direct electronic payment. And forms will be standardized so they will be easier to understand. The choice is up to you – and the same rules of privacy will apply as they do for all other electronic payments that people make.

Learn more and get details:
http://www.WhiteHouse.gov/realitycheck
http://www.WhiteHouse.gov/realitycheck/faq

8 Reasons We Need Health Insurance Reform Now

1. Coverage Denied to Millions: A recent national survey estimated that 12.6 million non-elderly adults – 36 percent of those who tried to purchase health insurance directly from an insurance company in the individual insurance market – were in fact discriminated against because of a pre-existing condition in the previous three years or dropped from coverage when they became seriously ill. Learn more: http://www.healthreform.gov/reports/denied_coverage/index.html
2. Less Care for More Costs: With each passing year, Americans are paying more for health care coverage. Employer-sponsored health insurance premiums have nearly doubled since 2000, a rate three times faster than wages. In 2008, the average premium for a family plan purchased through an employer was $12,680, nearly the annual earnings of a full-time minimum wage job. Americans pay more than ever for health insurance, but get less coverage. Learn more: http://www.healthreform.gov/reports/hiddencosts/index.html
3. Roadblocks to Care for Women: Women’s reproductive health requires more regular contact with health care providers, including yearly pap smears, mammograms, and obstetric care. Women are also more likely to report fair or poor health than men (9.5% versus 9.0%). While rates of chronic conditions such as diabetes and high blood pressure are similar to men, women are twice as likely to suffer from headaches and are more likely to experience joint, back or neck pain. These chronic conditions often require regular and frequent treatment and follow-up care. Learn more: http://www.healthreform.gov/reports/women/index.html
4. Hard Times in the Heartland: Throughout rural America, there are nearly 50 million people who face challenges in accessing health care. The past several decades have consistently shown higher rates of poverty, mortality, uninsurance, and limited access to a primary health care provider in rural areas. With the recent economic downturn, there is potential for an increase in many of the health disparities and access concerns that are already elevated in rural communities. Learn more: http://www.healthreform.gov/reports/hardtimes
5. Small Businesses Struggle to Provide Health Coverage: Nearly one-third of the uninsured – 13 million people – are employees of firms with less than 100 workers. From 2000 to 2007, the proportion of non-elderly Americans covered by employer-based health insurance fell from 66% to 61%. Much of this decline stems from small business. The percentage of small businesses offering coverage dropped from 68% to 59%, while large firms held stable at 99%. About a third of such workers in firms with fewer than 50 employees obtain insurance through a spouse. Learn more: http://www.healthreform.gov/reports/helpbottomline
6. The Tragedies are Personal: Half of all personal bankruptcies are at least partly the result of medical expenses. The typical elderly couple may have to save nearly $300,000 to pay for health costs not covered by Medicare alone. Learn more: http://www.healthreform.gov/reports/inaction
7. Diminishing Access to Care: From 2000 to 2007, the proportion of non-elderly Americans covered by employer-based health insurance fell from 66% to 61%. An estimated 87 million people – one in every three Americans under the age of 65 – were uninsured at some point in 2007 and 2008. More than 80% of the uninsured are in working families. Learn more: http://www.healthreform.gov/reports/inaction/diminishing/index.html
8. The Trends are Troubling: Without reform, health care costs will continue to skyrocket unabated, putting unbearable strain on families, businesses, and state and federal government budgets. Perhaps the most visible sign of the need for health care reform is the 46 million Americans currently without health insurance – projections suggest that this number will rise to about 72 million in 2040 in the absence of reform. Learn more: http://www.WhiteHouse.gov/assets/documents/CEA_Health_Care_Report.pdf
***end message***

Let’s debate the facts, not the propaganda.

Newsflash

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This just in:

The only food item that’s actually pleasant to puke is chocolate.

Your intrepid author will henceforth eat nothing but. Except that the smell of chocolate nauseates her. Rock, hard place.

This just in:

Hold breath while eating chocolate; get to enjoy it on the way back up.

See what a positive person I’m becoming? I think I’m growing.

IJ Quote of the Day 41

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Today’s quote straddles the spoiler line, so consider yourself warned if you haven’t hit 568 yet…

‘I therefore experiment with volunteer blindness. Training the ear in degrees of intensity in play. Today versus Whale I was wearing the blindfold to play.’
‘How’d it go?’
‘Not as well as hoped. I frequently faced the wrong direction for play. I frequently judged the intensity of balls struck on adjacent courts as ran onto adjacent courts, intruding play.’ (568).

Combine shadenfreude and tennis and I’m yours. Better even that the Eschaton’s aftermath because nobody really gets hurt. That’s my kind of slapstick.

Whew.

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Well, it turns out that I’m not the first person* to have terrible morning sickness that just goes away well before the end of the first trimester without meaning anything is wrong. [Now, wasn’t that nice of me to put the thesis in the opening paragraph? Make a note, wayward 1A students.]

Peanut and I went to see the doctor, with me telling him that, since I’m not feeling sick anymore, I probably had some germs in my tummy, not a baby in my uterus. Because sick from germs goes away and sick from babies usually doesn’t. He’s known those are the two options. I didn’t want to tell him, because it’s way too early and things could go wrong, but it’s really hard for a little guy to see his mom barfing five and six times a day and not get some reasonable explanation. So he knows the choices are germs or baby. He’s always been sure it’s a baby.

So the doc tried for a doppler heartbeat. Nothing. Then she pulled out the ultrasound (which made for really premature discussion about where she would put it and why boys have one hole for pee but girls have one hole for pee and one for babies) and said she didn’t know what I was worried about, but there was a really healthy heartbeat and a baby growing exactly as it should (no slowing down, which would have decreased the hormones and explained the lack of sickness but meant it was probably not viable).

Peanut said, immediately after the doc left, that he didn’t like her or her office or her toys. And he doesn’t want a baby. So sweet and classic and predictable and understandable. I only said, “I understand. Do you want to tell me more about that?” He said that Madeline, his stuffed monkey didn’t like the doctor or the office or the toys or babies, either. Fair enough.

Then after Spouse came home Peanut stopped mid-bite at dinner to announce the baby’s presence to Daddy and ran to get his picture of the baby and told Daddy that he would be a really nice brother because he could give the baby a rattle if it was crying or pat it on the head. And do we know the baby’s name and if he thinks of a really nice name he will call the baby that name and how about his friend’s name and how will I get the baby out (when it’s ready I’ll push really hard; thank goodness that was enough info) and maybe if the baby wants some tortellini he will share his. I’m sure he’ll go back and forth a lot, but this steady patter of positive was even more sweet (and less predictable) than the anti-OB tirade, and was the first time I was pretty sure how I felt about the whole daunting and terrifying and overwhelming prospect of next year.

And he says it’s a girl. He was right about his cousins’ genders and about his friend’s brother. So we’ll see. Ink said the same thing, though, and she’s right about everything, may the Universe help us.

*If, like me, you searched “morning sickness disappeared 9 weeks,” and found very little online about whether it means the baby stoped growing, why then I’m telling you it’s possible to feel much better early, though most first trimester symptoms disappear around week 12, like 9000% better around week 9 with no problems whatsoever. Have your midwife or doctor check.

Oh, no. Well… oh, I see.

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As I’ve mentioned, for four weeks I have spent a lot of time hunched over the sink/toilet/neighbor’s lawn.

And I woke up today feeling human. Completely human. I noticed the sunshine and the smell of the dew outside. I was not completely repelled by the cats, to whom I’ve been allergic for over 4 weeks.

Crap. It’s way too early to feel better.

Here’s the thing. When I said I wasn’t really happy, I meant yet.

When I said I wasn’t excited, I meant yet.

You didn’t even give me a chance to get used to the idea.

So that’s it? You’re leaving…why? Because I wasn’t as nice as you deserve? I would have been. Because I got way ahead of myself and got new bras yesterday? I honestly needed them, which, I don’t mean to point fingers, but, was your fault. Because I cleaned the cat box a few times because it was making me puke even more? Because I blogged that I was angry at having to figure out how to fit you? I would have, you know. Figured it out.

Well, that’s…I don’t know what that is. I have no idea how to feel.

I’ll go get a confirmation tomorrow at the doc’s office, but I think you have vacated the premises. And I don’t know how to feel. It’s nice not being sick. It’s fun playing with Peanut. It’s sad every time he calls his stuffed animals brothers and sisters. And now I have a whole new “I’m not sure how I feel about this” to get used to.

Damn it.

IJ quote of the day 40

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Gately and P.G.O.A.T/former P.G.O.A.T interface front office, Ennet house 0450h, 11 November, culminating in:

‘Jesus, why am I even here? Why don’t you just interface with yourself if you think you know all my issues and shames and everything I’m going to say? Why not take the suggestion to say No? Why come in here? Did I come to you, to talk? Was i just sitting in here trying to keep awake and do the Log and getting ready to go mop shit with a shoe-freak and did or didn’t you waltz on in and sit down and come to me?’
….
‘You want to see my professional Staff face here’s my Staff face. I nod and smile, I treat you like somebody I have to humor by nodding and smiling, and behind the face I’m going with my finger around and around my temple like What a fucking yutz, like Where’s the net.’
‘Believe what you want. I’m powerless over what you believe, I know.’
‘See the professional Staffer writing in the Meds log: “six extra-strong-kind aspirin for Staff after sarcasm and sideways refusal to walk through fears and sarcastic acting out by newcomer who things she knows everybody else’s issues.’
‘What position did you play?’
‘…that the Staffer wonders how come she’s even here in treatment then, if she knows so much.’

Teehee. This is like high school love. Splendid. Just top notch, the whole conversation.

Do yourself a favor and go read Infinite Jest.

Dear people

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Dear Peanut:
Thank you for saying no to everything today. Really. It made me feel I’ve earned my $0.00 salary. And what a joy it is to feel one is worth about as much effort as shaking your head side to side. Constantly.

And thank you for that very creative and intriguing tantrum about not washing your hands before we eat. It gave me the unheard of opportunity to pluck my eyebrows, standing there waiting for you to come to your senses. It had been too long. What a gift your lack of reason has been today. Thanks ever so much.

Dear DPW,
Thank you so much for tearing up the streets to repair something under the ground. Your skill is surpassed only by the gratitude society has for your public works results. On both sides of the street. During working hours. I really appreciate you saving City money by not doing the work, say, after hours. Or much more slowly by, say, working on the east-bound side THEN the west-bound THEN the north-bound. Thank you for doing them all together so that every car inches forward exactly ten feet per green light during lunch hour. And thank you, too, for not working at all on the south-bound side, since I don’t drive that way and would not have gotten to listen to an unending lecture from the backseat on what kind of trucks do and why I’m wrong to call a front loader a front loader when it’s clearly, from the special vantage point of a car seat, “maybe” a snow plow. In August. In California. It sure is good to have possibilities!

Dear Neighbors,
Thank you for the glorious aromas of your wondrous breakfast offerings. I wasn’t having a colorful enough walk before your omelets and pancakes and pork products produced a sparkling technicolor yawn from somewhere, it seemed, deep in my knees. What a new world you’ve opened my eyes (and pyloric valve) to by sharing your various intensely scented meals to my day. Thanks, especially for the Denver omelet, neighbor five blocks away. I hope it didn’t repeat on you like it did for me the whole rest of the way home.

Dear Children Visiting the Elementary School,
Oh, isn’t wonderful that school is out and you can use the local school’s playground whenever you wish? So much fun! Especially that delightful game you have of chasing each other and screaming “HELP!” at the top of your young and particularly shrill voices. Delightful. It’s quite special for you to engage in your spirited play so close to my highly empathic son, because he spend the whole day asking me why you were scared and why someone needed help but the fire fighters weren’t coming. It’s a wonderful teachable moment about shrill, screaming little children who should, maybe, be freaking parented on a semi-regular basis, and I do so appreciate that gift.

Dear People in My Way,
Oh, your presence is a special addition to my life. Thank you for being in my way, no matter where I go. You make me appreciate the vast quantities of patience I naturally possess, and help me create wonderful linguistic moments in the car where I explain to a three year old why shouting “Can’t you people all just go home?!” is really rhetorical, not a genuine request that the entire city go home. Though that would be lovely. You deserve it. Go home to your families. Enjoy some time off the streets, out of the stores, away from the parking spaces, and out of my life. Consider this chance to get the hell out of my way a special gift from me to you.

IJ quote of the day 39

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Regarding the Moms’s profering of her apple to a starving Hal:
“Orin and Hal had this bit, during Family Trivia sometimes: ‘Please, I’m not using this oxygen anyway.’ ‘What, this old limb? Take it. In the way all the time. Take it.’ ‘But it’s a gorgeous bowel movement, Mario—the living room rug needed something, I didn’t know what til right this very moment.’ The special fantodish chill of feeling both complicit and obliged. Hal despised the way he always reacted, taking the apple, pretending to pretend his reluctance to eat her supper was a pretense. Orin believed she did it all on purpose, which was way too easy. He said she went around with her feelings out in front of her with an arm around the feelings’ windpipe and a Glock 9 mm. to the feelings’ temple like a terrorist with a hostage, daring you to shoot” (523).

I read this 12 years ago on Hal’s side. Now I totally vote with Avril. She wants him to eat and doesn’t want him to starve of politeness. *sigh* What a difference a little life experience makes.

Happy halfway through Infinite Jest, peeps who are still hanging in by a “dento-dermal layer.”

What in the…

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The reasons I married Spouse…

Peanut: No I did not see you put on sun lotion. I don’t have eyes.
Spouse: Oh, well take my word for it. I put on mine and its your turn.

Peanut: Can I put nail polish on my fingernails?
Spouse: If you want to. It’s your body. What color?

P: I can’t listen to you. I don’t have ears.
S: [mouths, Okay, then I’ll go have a popsicle while you hang out here by yourself.]
P: [laughs] Did you say popsicle?
S: No. I said put on your socks.

Any guy who humors my son, helps him put on bright red nail polish, and keeps my stash of popsicles safe is okay in my book.

IJ quote of the day 38

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One of my favorite scenes of the book.

“Now the ominous finger-pointing of street-aggression, this Roy fellow pointing first at Erdedy’s chest and then at his own: ‘So man what you say you saying I’m a hugger? You saying you think I go around like to hug?’
Both Erdedy’s hands were now up palms-out and waggling in a like bon-hommic gesture of heading off all possible misunderstanding: ‘No but see the whole point is that I wouldn’t presume to call you either a hugger or a nonhugger because I don’t know you. I only meant to say it’s nothing personal having to do with you as an individual, and I’d be more than happy to shake hands, even one of those intricate multiple-handed ethnic handshakes if you’ll bear with my inexperience with that sort of handshake, but I’m simply uncomfortable with the whole idea of hugging.’
By the time Johnette Foltz could break away and get over to them, the fellow had Erdedy by his anorak’s insulated lapels and was leaning him way back over the edge of the Literature table so that Erdedy’s waterproof lodge boots were off the ground, and the fellow’s face was right up in Erdedy’s face in a show of naked aggression:
‘You think I fucking like to go around and hug on folks? You think any of us like this shit? We fucking do what they tell us. They tell us Hugs Not Drugs in here. We done motherfucking surrendered our wills in here,’ Roy said….I done had to give four hugs my first night here and then I gone ran in the fucking can and fucking puked. Puked, he said. ‘Not comfortable? Who the fuck are you? Don’t even try and tell me I’m coming over feeling comfortable about trying to hug on your James-River-Traders-weartng-Calvin-Klein-aftershave-smelling-goofy-ass motherfucking ass'” (506).

IJ quote of the day 37

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One of the reasons I’ve loved Wallace’s prose since I found it in 1997 is his mastery of words that often send the less confident amongst us scrambling to a usage guide. To wit:

“I looked as if dust had not drifted under the bed and settled on the carpet inside the frame but rather that somehow taken root and grown on it, upon it, the way a mold will take root and gradually cover an expanse of spoiled food. The layer of dust itself looked a little like spoiled food, bad cottage cheese. It was nauseous” (498).

I love (capital L love even if that bastardizes the word meant to encapsulate feelings you deem more worthy, it’s still what I feel, and it even borders on slurping, my affection) love proper use of the word nauseous. I’ve blogged about it not just once but twice, and waxed both philosophical and self-righteous about it. The short version, for you Wallace fans just stumbling upon Himself’s story about how the terrifying mattress scene inspired to “become interested in the possibilities of annulation” (503), is that nauseous is something that inspires people to vomit. Similarly, something nauseating beckons us to relieve the contents of our stomachs. That’s because nauseated is when you feel as though you might feel better through hurling. Something nauseous makes you nauseated.

Anything makes me nauseated right now, except parsing the grammar of the master.

If you haven’t, go read Tense Present, Wallace’s impeccable tract on the usage debate between prescriptive and descriptive linguists, and the successes and failures of various usage guides. (Thank you, Harper’s for posting his work in one place for us. Damned decent of you.) If you don’t want to read online check out one of the best non-fiction collections I’ve ever read: Consider the Lobster. For those who love his math geekitude, there are also wondrous gleams of genius in Wallace the grammarian.

Nooooooo! Not John Hughes!

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Oh, come on. Really? Sad for his family, of course. He was a human being first, and for his family I am deeply sorry.

But he was an icon for millions of kids who came of age in the 80s. Gys, no person made me feel like less of an outcast; no writer made me feel sure I would find a place in the world; no artist made me feel more at home.

Oh, Mr. Hughes, thank you for your movies. Pretty in Pink, Breakfast Club, Some Kind of Wonderful, and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off were what made high school tolerable. Were what made me feel better about my awkward, painful, social outcast years. Are still what I turn to when I need to feel at home.

Oh, Mr. Hughes. I still quote your films. Almost daily. I still live in the hope that you’ll write a film about a totally lost, out of her element, thirty-something mom.

And now you won’t.

IJ quote of the day 36

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I really can’t pull deeply from Lucien and Bertraund hearing the squeak, because I still shudder at the description. I wanted to use some quote about angles and soupe aux pois but just can’t.

The most I can tolerate is: “The vigor with which Lucien shakes his head at the leader’s meaningless sounds can’t help but be misinterpreted, probably.
Does this shop have the 585-rpm-drive TP somewhere about here, for running Masters?
Sam vigorous negative-looking denial of comprehension.
Can a mask’s drawn smile widen?” (487)

Some day when I’m thinking clearly again, let’s talk language confusion and wordlessness and communication and comprehension and deadly result in Infinite Jest, shall we?
And some day when I have the energy, let’s pull all of the malalexical* fumblings of Orin and Lentz and others, mmmmkay?
Until then, make the broom and police lock images go away.

*I know there’s a real word for using the wrong word, but other than aphasia 9the word, not my own condition, though, haha, now that’s funny) I can’t think of the real word and I’m not trying to be clever, I swear, I’m just trying to get a quote of the day on the books then go to bed. Malapropism? Something? Shows how far I’ve fallen that I’m not leaping into the OED to find out. And kind of don’t care. For now.

IJ quote of the day 35

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For nostalgia’s sake:
“Gately has decided to buy the newcomers’ omelette stuff at Bread & Circus in Inman Square, Cambridge. It will explain delay, and will be a subtle nonverbal slap at unique dietary requests in general. Bread & Circus is a socially hyperresponsible overpriced grocery full of Cambridge Green Party granola-crunchers, and everything’s like microbiotic and fertilized only with organic genuine llama-shit, etc” (478).

Two things: first, the Fresh Pond Bread & Circus was closer, Pat M. just so you can note in it the log of staffers sans license driving needlessly to Inman (except that he drives past Antitoi Entertainent (sic) in the process, which is the whole plot-driven reason for him to drive way the hell out past the Storrow 500.) First plot point that felt forced, but first time we’ve really had intersection of otherwise unrelated characters.
Second, this quote reminds me of Amy Poehler in Baby Mama saying of the underprocessed organic groceries, “That shit’s just for rich people who hate themselves.”

Good choices and bad choices

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Staying up past 1am because after midnight my tum feels better: bad choice
Getting out of bed this morning: bad choice
Forcing Peanut out of house for a.m. walk: good choice
Trying to run: bad choice
Puking only in street instead of on neighbors’ lawns: good choice
Making Wednesday movie day: good choice
Forcing Peanut out of house again to go to Lake: good choice
Wearing loafers and striped metallic thigh high socks because it was cold: bad choice
Ignoring warning signs that cat and child were about to rumble during naptime: bad choice
Comforting bitten child rather than cat who gave fair warning and was really patient, considering: good choice
Teaching Peanut that cats have special words for “stop it” that include threatening to bite: good choice
Pizza for dinner: seemed like good choice. Smelled and tasted like good choice. Reevaluation later: bad choice
Peanut’s first haircut in 2 years: good choice
Bribing him with really expensive organic fruit pop in tub to enable haircut: good choice
Lopping off only about half and inch of his shoulder-length curls: good choice. More off the top and the weird Einstein bits that grew twice as long as everything else: also good choice.
Catching up on my bloggety reading instead of paying attention to the “I’m hot and cold” calls coming from Peanut’s freshly shorn head: good choice.

Overall, pretty good day.