Now even my spam is insulting me

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I post often about awesome spam, befuddling spam, and pathetic spam.

This is a new high in spamming. Behold, the (poorly written) smackdown spam:

“The following time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I know it was my choice to learn, but I really thought youd have something fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you would fix if you happen to werent too busy on the lookout for attention.”

I’m pretty sure, if I parse the terrible English properly, that said spammer just called me narcissistic, disappointing, incompetent, and whiny.

Hey, when did my ex and my relatives start writing spam?

4 thoughts on “Now even my spam is insulting me”

  1. Ah, Darling. That one’s a gem, isn’t it? I think I’d rather have insulting spammers than insulting readers, though. Spammers are, by nature, douches. A reader recently told me: “TKW, I love you to death…” cue the requisite BUT…”lately you bring so much pain to the table. I miss the old posts, and this one was sort of like those–not heavy and depressing.”

    I’m paraphrasing. But still. I was seething for a whole day, and then realized it was funny stuff. The things we say out of “love.”

    ps: Why ARE you so quick to complain, anyways? You only have two small, spirited children, a novel in the works, and a household to run. Gah, you entitled diva, you.

  2. You need a new category: “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, with apologies to the horse.”

    Speaking of spam, yo Kitch, I have a message at your digs stuck in mod. Free Me!

  3. you need an instant reply: “there is open hour for complaint; this not it is”

    but um the horse one….grand! totally voting for horse catagory

  4. So glad I’m not the only one whose spam is insulting.

    I once got a spam comment in which the person wrote: “So glad you took the time to write something so interesting”.

    To which I replied: “So glad you wasted your precious time reading the whole post. You just increased my site stats. Now whose the asshole?””””

    I probably shouldn’t have given in to the comment and written back at all, but I couldn’t help myself.

    Love your blog:)

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