I post often about awesome spam, befuddling spam, and pathetic spam.
This is a new high in spamming. Behold, the (poorly written) smackdown spam:
“The following time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I know it was my choice to learn, but I really thought youd have something fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you would fix if you happen to werent too busy on the lookout for attention.”
I’m pretty sure, if I parse the terrible English properly, that said spammer just called me narcissistic, disappointing, incompetent, and whiny.
Hey, when did my ex and my relatives start writing spam?
Ah, Darling. That one’s a gem, isn’t it? I think I’d rather have insulting spammers than insulting readers, though. Spammers are, by nature, douches. A reader recently told me: “TKW, I love you to death…” cue the requisite BUT…”lately you bring so much pain to the table. I miss the old posts, and this one was sort of like those–not heavy and depressing.”
I’m paraphrasing. But still. I was seething for a whole day, and then realized it was funny stuff. The things we say out of “love.”
ps: Why ARE you so quick to complain, anyways? You only have two small, spirited children, a novel in the works, and a household to run. Gah, you entitled diva, you.
You need a new category: “Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, with apologies to the horse.”
Speaking of spam, yo Kitch, I have a message at your digs stuck in mod. Free Me!
you need an instant reply: “there is open hour for complaint; this not it is”
but um the horse one….grand! totally voting for horse catagory
So glad I’m not the only one whose spam is insulting.
I once got a spam comment in which the person wrote: “So glad you took the time to write something so interesting”.
To which I replied: “So glad you wasted your precious time reading the whole post. You just increased my site stats. Now whose the asshole?””””
I probably shouldn’t have given in to the comment and written back at all, but I couldn’t help myself.
Love your blog:)