One and a Half

Dearest Butter,

It will come as no surprise to you, sweet one, that Mama wants to talk with you for a moment….”Hair”? Oh, Butterbean…yes, you’re right, we don’t pull hair. Pulling hair hurts. What I want to…”Bang”? Yes, Butternut, hitting hurts. We don’t bang people. Thank you for remembering this time. I hope you remember next time your brother is in the room….But we’ve already talked about that and the past is past and I love you and…

What I really want to say…”Go”? Yes, honey. We can go for a walk…What’s that sign—tomatoes? To look for tomatoes? Okay…”ground”? Of course, yes, if there’s one on the ground you can squish it. But tomatoes in the neighbors’ yards are just for looking….Yes, like that. Looking. Mmmm-hmmm.

Butterpat, Mama wants to tell you…”Go.” Uh-huh. Yes. Peanut did go. He went to school. Yes…”Cry”? You’re sad? You miss him. You like Peanut. Me, too….Love, the crayons are for coloring, like this….Yes, throwing them sounds interesting. It sure does. Can we try coloring with them?…No, of course not. Silly suggestion.

Butterbug? Can we….Yes, throwing markers sounds different than crayons. Yes. Different. You signed “different.” Markers are different. But babe, can we…Yes, I will help you open that….Here you go….”Grrr.” Yes. Frustrating. You feel frustrated…Yes. Would you like help? Okay. Here are the words: “Mama help.” No? you don’t have to say it, Butterbutton. Okay. Here you go. Lid off.

Now. Buttersmoosh. Mama wants to say…yes, darling, we can go outside. “Outside.” Right. I see you signing “outside.” Do you want shoes? “Na-na-na,” of course not. I should have known better.

Butterbud, please, just looking at tomatoes. Just looking….”Ick”? Yes, dirt. Dirt feels nice. Oh, nice on your toes? Mmm-hmmm….Nice on your whole body, huh? You like to lie down in dirt….Okay…Honey, can we go inside….
Uh-oh. Yes dirt in hands, no dirt in mouth….”Ick.” Yes, that’s yucky. Yucky. Blech…Yes. That’s right. May I tell you….Sign for banana? You want a banana? Okay. Let’s go inside…Oh, honey, why do you have sadness? I just meant for a banana. Bananas are inside. We are outside. If you want to eat a banana, we have to go inside…Oh, sadness. You want outside, not inside. Sad.

Butterbear, chairs are for sitting. I don’t want you to get hurt. Please sit down….Thank you….Butterbutt, please sit so I can get your banana….Okay. Mama’s going to turn and get the banana on the counter…Butterbug, that’s not safe. The dishwasher does look like a ladder, but it’s not. We don’t climb onto counters….Yes, the knives look interesting but they are no touch. Not safe. Hurt baby….Yes, getting down is frustrating. Butter’s angry with Mama. Say, Mama! I want up! I don’t want down!…I know, sweetness….Here’s a bite of banana, and I’d like to tell you…Oh. You didn’t want banana? You throw banana, banana is all done….”Trash”? Yes, it goes to the trash….Wait a minute, did you do that just so you could throw something in the trash?…Butterybubba, we don’t throw food. We eat food. Banana is for mouth, not floor….Sure you can have a bite….Butter. Banana is for mouth. Not for floor….Yes, now it’s trash. No, you may not throw it in the trash….Because I’m going to make Daddy eat it later….”Ick.” Yes, yucky. Yes, germy. Yes, trash….Not right now.

Butterplum, Mama was going to say Happy Half Birthday. Mama was going to say sweet words about loving you. And I will say those things later. But would you please, please, please eat something and nap? You are a whirlwind, you delicious little pat of butter. And Mama needs to sit down.

Busy, busy, busy

It’s Peanut’s half birthday, so we’re making half cupcakes (tinfoil folded into each well in the tin) and half wrapping a half present (a toy that got lost or broken gets replaced on half birthday).

And Peanut is going around writing his half name. “Pear,” it turns out, is exactly half of Peanut. Or so he has declared.

See what I learn while inventing reasons to bake and serve chocolate in a month with no holidays except a long-distance uncle’s birthday?