Police Blotter

Area woman exhibited manic enjoyment of her children’s every breath Friday. She breezed through the morning, laughing with the kids, relishing their company, and playing their games, all while tidying the house, cooking a fabulous lunch, cleaning the bathrooms, and changing her voter registration.

Local law enforcement officials have surmised that the local Peet’s pulled her a regular Americano despite her decaf order.

Peet’s employees were horrified. “I really hope we didn’t give her a regular,” said the charming young man who served her. “She seems like the type who would lose her freaking mind on caffeine.” He clarified later, “That lady had enough energy already, you know? It’s like, there are just some high strung people…no offense…who order decaf for a reason.”

The woman herself is oblivious to her frenetic assault on the neighborhood and her house. She just feels really really really really really productive. Woohoo!

12 thoughts on “Police Blotter

  1. Please feel free to bring some of that energy over to my house. Perhaps we can devise some sort of system wherein I can drain some of your energy via osmosis. You come down from your rush and I get some pep without that disappointing caffeine letdown. Everybody wins.

    • Ha!

      I’m hoping that one day of being overcaffeinated doesn’t ruin me. I’ve had caffeine withdrawal weeks in my past, and oooooh boy do the headaches hurt.

      Did I mention that I love you for “shenanigans”?

  2. You’ve discovered my secret.

    I would be nowhere without the power of the bean.

    And I do mean nowhere. When I drink of that magic pod, I love e’erbody and e’erthing. ALL OF IT.

    After all the lovin’, I get down to it and wipe, swipe, declutter, and unduster.

    Every man for himself and don’t step in front of the vacuum or you will be Dyson’ed up. Say hello to my little friend.


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