SF neighborhoods—a sassy primer

Do like information chock full of stereotypes? Accurate-adjacent and amusing information guaranteed to upset legions of natives?

(If not, just check this map of prices sans commentary.)

If you do like snarky generalizations, I offer you this: the funniest thing I’ve seen about San Francisco neighborhoods.

(Note: he totally forgets that everyone from hipsters to migrants in the Mission is waiting in long lines for burritos. The Mission is burrito-landia. There. Now my work here is done and I can sleep tonight. Except for the omission of the Richmond, Inner Richmond, Laurel Heights, Russian Hill, Hayes Valley…I’ll wait for Part Two. And a real map.)

So if you’re considering a long-distance move and don’t know which neighborhood box to check on craisglist, peruse Drew Hoolhorst’s glossary of SF neighborhoods.

If you’d never move here in a million years but want to be vaguely educated while you mock us, use the same link. Information is information, yo. And the more you know…

(NB: if you’re a local, read the comments. There are some seriously uptight people in the Western Addition.)

7 thoughts on “SF neighborhoods—a sassy primer

  1. All of my visits to San Francisco were for shows playing at the Golden Gate and Orpheum. Locals must really love the theatre to be willing to venture into these parts. They housed us in the Nob Hill area which was lovely, but of course we had to walk through the tenderloin to get to work. The cast members who claimed to hate San Francisco were those who chose to sleep away their Mondays instead of exploring one of the greatest cities in the world. One of my favorite tour excursions was a bike ride across the Golden Gate Bridge. Breathtaking. I LOVE San Fran. They just need to haul the theatre district to a part of town where you don’t get chased by crazies threatening to stab you with their needles. (that actually happened, btw)

    • Soooo true. Theaters of all stripe, from mainstream to alternative, are in dicey ‘hoods. Even the symphony and ballet are taking their lives in their hands to go to work. ACT is about the only one you can walk to without an adrenaline rush.
      But it’s one HELL of a place to be, live, love, work, learn, eat, play, walk, sail, run, watch, write, read, and breathe, so I’ll just cross my fingers each time I go to a show or audition.

    • Haven’t auditioned since the boys arrived, but actor, improv junkie, stand-up comic, voiceover dabbler. The itch to go back waxes and wanes. It’s low on the list right now, but it’s always there. Monologues and songs are always at the ready, for you never know…

  2. Amazing. I love that. I personally suck at improv and haven’t done a monologue since my college senior show case. Silly musical theatre. All that to say, my internet friend, you are more of an artist than I, and it is my livelihood.

    Now…back to the regularly scheduled program….San Francisco Neighborhoods….

    • Musical theater isn’t silly (except the parts that really are silly, of course). All the performing arts are magical and silly and necessary and wonderful. I miss ’em.

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