If you can’t beat ’em…laugh at ’em

The first rule of Parent Club is you must talk about Parent Club. The second rule of Parent Club is never laugh at them, because it will come back to haunt you.

Mom: Peanut, it’s time to get out of the bath.
P: No.
M: Yup. Time for jammies. Pull the plug, please.
P: No.
M: Peanut, you can have Dad dry you or Mom dry you. Which one?
P: Green.
[Mom and Dad both laugh. Thus begins our downfall…]

Spouse: Peanut, time to put away your toys.
P: No.
S: Let’s see who can put away faster: you or me.
P: [looks right at Spouse and pauses…] Left.

M: Peanut, let’s go for a walk.
P: No.
M: It’s a gorgeous day, Mama wants some exercise, and you can choose to bring a blueberry muffin or a sandwich. Which do you want?
P: Green.

The non-sequitors are not just for defiance, either.

S: Peanut, time to get out of the bath.
P: No.
S: If you don’t pull the plug I will lift you out of the tub. And you will be sad because you like to do it yourself. And you will be cold. And I will put on your jammies and you will be a little cold and still sad. And you will get stories and songs but you’ll still be a little sad.
P: And tomorrow I’ll still be a little sad.
S: Correct.
P: Where did we get this washcloth?

The eighth rule of Parent Club is if this is your first child in Parent Club, you HAVE to parent.

12 thoughts on “If you can’t beat ’em…laugh at ’em

  1. We went thr0ugh what I call the “distraction” phase as well. Made me want to pull my hair out. I think she learned it from me, though, so I have absolutely no plausible deniability.

  2. Oh you are such a better mom than me. This is where I’d advise using your crying to get what you want.

  3. At least he isn’t always flip-flop with the “yes, I want it/no I don’t want it” phase. Because that totally stinks!

  4. I’m pretty sure when Miss A walks in with Mr T’s underwear on, I’m not supposed to laugh. But I cannot help it.

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