Spouse out of town for five days.
My mom out of town for six days.
About one hour after they left, week three growth spurt began (a little late, which is not shocking, given the child in question). Feedings every hour ’round the clock. Now entering day three of that super sweet milestone.
Peanut on a collision course with logic and basic social mores.
No chocolate in the house.
A month overdue on a client project.
At least the new washing machine works (oh, sure, did I mention the old one died on day seven of newborn at home?). The fridge is full of food other people made for us. The growth spurt has to end, as does Peanut’s rebellion. 2666 is almost done. The weather’s nice, the garden’s growing, and I can only feel about 20 of my dozens of stitches right now.
The weekend is clearly on its way up, right?
Aw, Nap, I wish I could come over and help out! I could, at the very least, bring chocolate. Hugs!
I’m glad you have food in the fridge, but do you have a plan in place for revenge yet? Our baby is now four months old, and someone asked hubby to go on a fishing trip. I got burly with the asker and snarled Nooooooooooo!!!!! I’m guessing your people are out of town for jobs. Nonetheless, I would still find some way to punish those responsible, if nit the travelers themselves. Not that I advocate violence. Ahem.
Should say “if not”. Damn iPhone keyboard.
This is actually one of my favorite sayings. Next to The absence of alternatives, of course. ;-) Another one I love telling my kids is “You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.”
Channeling my inner Rob Schneider (do you know he’s Filipino + Jewish? Awesome sauce!): YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
NO CHOCOLATE IN THE HOUSE!?!?!?!1111?!?!11!11!!!!!111111!?!?11!!
SEND IN THE TROOPS!!!!!
The faster the growth spurt, the sooner Hazelnut is tall enough to operate the washing machine for you!
That said, a house without chocolate is no home.
Oy! I wish I could help you out! Tomorrow (Sunday) I am car-less, and can’t come over bearing chocolate or distraction for the Peanut. However, if you are going crazy and the drive wouldn’t make matters worse, you are absolutely welcome to come over here… my husband is at an all-day course and my only “plans” were to take the kids to the elementary school playground next door and let them run around like banshees. Or, if you want to drop off the Peanut and curl up with Hazelnut (and chocolate) in our guest room, you are also welcome to do that… just give me a call.
No chocolate? Seriously? Please tell me you at least have wine. Lots of wine.
Please tell me – with all that going on, how do you get to write anything (not to mention clever, interesting things)?
Since I can’t help with chocolate or Peanut-sitting or dishwashing or laundry folding, how about some appreciation and envy? If it helps, please take it.
I tensed up just reading this. You are a hard-core woman to end this post on a semi-positive note.
PS: Chocolate’s in the mail.
Inky, baby, you have your own cataclysms to deal with. We can have chocolate together. In the year 2032.
Fie, of course you don’t advocate violence. And I never plot revenge. Ahem.
SubWOW, I want a Rob Schneider clip of “You do what you gotta do” as my backspace key chime. That would be awesome. And hell. And awesome.
jc, I feel you feeling my pain, man. And I feel my need for chocolate…not at all abating. But thanks for the exclamatory empathy. It helps.
Ms. Preftige, that is the best perspective, both hilarious and true, I’ve heard all week. Grow on, small boys! Soon you will be trading me housework for keys to the car! And the answer is no.
Dana, the banshee idea would have worked, but there was no way I was putting Peanut in the car today. Echo chamber and all. Thanks so much for the offer, though. We’ll do museum again. And I’ll have guest passes next time. ;-)
Kitchy, I wish I was brave enough to drink just to see how the babe would handle it. Not screwing with a moderately good thing, you know? Not going back to dairy, either, just in case.
Macondo, I will totally take the appreciation. A bit tearily. Ency is totally misplaced. Reread the post, lady. You don’t want what I got. But dang, I like that appreciation. Thank you.
ck, I adore you even without chocolate. Heck, I still owe you big time for a few things. But I’ll take the hard-core and feel strong enough for one more day. I hope it’s enough to get me through.
I nominated you for an award, but I know you have a new baby so I totally will not be insulted if you don’t play along.
Sending you caboodles of chocolate love right now. Not that it helps much, since it isn’t really edible. Big hugs all around XOXOX
Oh Nap! Five days without adult reinforcements! Sending you fortitude and magical dreams for Hazelnut!
I feel really guilty for eating that chocolate Easter bunny just now…I think you needed it much more than me.
Re: the title of this post, I would add: “…would easily kill me.”
You’re a stronger woman than I am, m’dear. If I could figure out how to attach chocolate to an e-mail, I’d send it.
dang sweet story man.