Peanut, on witnessing his baby brother’s first bath:
“My penis is bigger.”

Grandma, on the phone while trying to parent a Wild Peanut:
“P, grapes are not for soccer.”

Me, to Spouse, after peering into the fish tank before bathtime:
“Would it be wrong to “notice” the dead fish tomorrow morning so we can get P to bed on time tonight?”

Spouse, each time I burst into tears:
“What time was your last pain pill?”

Stranger, before I smothered them to death with milk-soaked breast pads and soggy bra:
“How is he sleeping?”

Peanut, as he kisses his sleeping brother on the head:
“When you get bigger, you can play with me if you want to. Only if you want to.”

12 thoughts on “Overheard

  1. Awww … Peanut wants to play with his brother! Sweet!

    I hate that this are so hard for you right now. I think it gets better. But then again, I’m having melt downs myself and baby is over three months. Some of it is my own fault — letting baby sleep in the swing for a month, for instance, and only just now transitioning him to the crib. I knew better, but took the easy way out. No longer.

    Anyway, sending sympathy your way. It’s not all bad, but the hard parts SUCK.

  2. Argh. I meant “things are” not “this are.” Stupid sleep deprivation.

  3. I often got the urge to smother complete strangers with soaked breast pads, except that I was too tired.

    And, in my infinite wisdom, realized that some day, they would become parents…and karma would have it’s way with them.

    However, those interactions between siblings are what help you make it through the yuck…

  4. Wait until they can talk to each other about their penises! My Monkey is only barely talking, but right in there with his first words he’s got a basic set of penis vocab. ‘Penis’ is one of the only things they play without fighting.

  5. I LOVE that P is already sizing up his little brother’s prime real estate!

    And why is it that people ask how babies are sleeping? It’s like asking a pregnant woman how much weight she’s gained! Assholery! Just rub salt in the wound, why don’tcha?

    And grandma is right. Grapes are not soccer balls. They are also not bugs that you need to stomp to death. Please send that memo to my own children.

  6. Yes, hugs. My son found a magnifying glass the other day and immediately looked at this penis; hazards of potty training. I don’t get it. I’m a girl, I guess.
    Hold on! You have to get material for the blog, right?! :)

  7. My youngest son was born 2 weeks before Easter. On Easter Sunday we got together with family. My cousin has a son 2 weeks older than my oldest son and a daughter 2 weeks older than my youngest son. We were lining the babies and toddlers up for mass diaper changes. My oldest got finished first and walked around the room sizing up everyone. He got to my cousin’s daughter and stopped. He looked puzzled and said “mommy, this baby’s broken!” Poor baby didn’t get a penis… Boys always notice those things! Cute post:)

  8. See, boys and penises. They just can’t help noticing them and playing with them.

    And I need to be your security since you get crazy people who ask how the baby is sleeping for you. It’s an infant!

    *hugs* Hang in there. Peanut is going to be an awesome older brother.

  9. Girl, you know where I stand on the “How’s he sleeping?” question. Smother away. I’ll totally alibi you.

    And that last thing, with Peanut and the kissing and the cute? I might’ve just spontaneously conceived a second child reading that.

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