I swear to you…

…this is true. I can’t make this stuff up.

After Peanut’s bath, Spouse helps him into his jammies. Except that P has been dying to wear his Hanukkah leotard and when they come out of the bedroom, they both beam because Spouse has helped my son into his pink leotard…backward. Effectively his first thong.

Peanut says, “I’m not sure if I want to wear my new leotard to bed. I want to add a bell to it so if I need Mommy and Daddy in the nighttime, I can ring the bell. It’s gonna be a really loud bell.”

Hmmm. Possibly worst idea ever. Maybe. If you include the tiny wedgie that will have him ringing the bell all night long.

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12 thoughts on “I swear to you…

  1. Hilarious!!!!!! I love your blog. The visual of your son in a backwards pink leotard with a wedgie is stellar. My 5 year old son’s favorite color is purple and he is always dying to put on pink tutus and such. Thanks for visiting my blog the other day. I’ll look forward to visiting you often!!!!

  2. When I think pink leotard and “Ring My Bell,” I think 70s disco.

    I love that he has a Hannukah leotard. Nothing says “a great miracle happened there” like a leotard.

  3. I think of Will Smith’s “Ring My Bell” song… in fact, it’s STUCK IN MY HEAD RIGHT NOW!!!11!!1!1!

    When I need someone to show up with bells on, I’m calling Peanut.

  4. Wait…a Hanukkah leotard? I know I’ve been gone for awhile, so help a girl out, would you? What in the name of all that is good is a Hanukkah leotard?

  5. I am soooo bad. WTF is a Hanukkah leotard and why is Peanut the proud owner of one? And indeed, the bell is a BAD idea.

    Although I’d *love* one, so I can ring it whenever I want someone to meet my needs! ;)

  6. I guess I did make it sound all institutional and official…P’s hanukkah leotard is just what he requested as his gift for the last night. He wanted a yo-yo for the first night and a leotard, pink, short-sleeved for the eighth. Henceforth it will be known as the Hanukkah leotard. But it’s not as though the celebration requires a leotard or anything. Not that I judge your hanukkah celebration if you choose to perform candle-lighting duties in leotards. In fact, for logistical reasons it might make frying things in oil a bit safer.

  7. LMAO! Hannukah leotard? Awesome. And a bell? What a clever, clever boy. Would you ask him if I could borrow the bell, once he’s done waking you up 1,000 times at night, so that I could signal the end to student presenters who go over time? Kaythxbye.

  8. Ink, lol at the image of you ringing a bell, with your Grace Kelly snarl of superiority, when students go over. It’s even funnier if the bell’s on a leotard.
    I think, now, that all professors should have a belled leotard. Physicians, too. And bankers and creative directors and…the applications are endless.

  9. Say what you will, but in my mind the Hanukkah leotard is silk-screened with a big ol’ menorah on the front.

    You know, right near where the bell attaches.

    • Funny you should mention it, Falling. He wants a ladybug silkscreened on the ‘tard. Menorah would be hilarious. Maybe a menorah with the eight days of leotard decorations…a bell, a ladybug, a yo-yo. All nestled like stockings so my little secular kid can totally befuddle the major holidays and religions all in one lycra explosion.

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