One for the baby book

Sweet developmental moments we should add to all baby books:

First booger joke
First time Mom or Dad told you “You’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’, buddy”
First game involving tying grandma to a chair
First doll you nursed
First doll you beheaded
First time you made Mommy bleed (separate entries for nipples, intentional, and accidental wounds)
Moment you realized screaming at the top of your lungs made Mom and Dad lose their minds
First year you cried that you didn’t get more Christmas presents
Tallest store display you toppled
First menorah injury
Name of first person to whom you shouted “I don’t like you”
Photo of child at preschool to whom you said, “I can’t understand whining. Use a different voice”
First day that, beginning to end, was an unceasing joy

20 thoughts on “One for the baby book

  1. First public announcement that includes the following words (in any order) “My vagina is stuck in my tights.”

    I love this list, BTW. You should make the book and sell it to Urban Outfitters. :)

  2. First time you bite the mall Santa because “Stink! Argh! He stinky-stinky!”…oh wait. Normal children don’t do that, do they?

    How about: First disparaging remark you make about mommy’s body as she’s exiting the shower.

    I love this list.

  3. First time you told a stranger, in a very friendly tone, that they were FAT!

    BRILLIANT! I love this.

  4. NICE additions, friends!
    I suppose I also need:
    First time you dropped trou in public, with separate entries for toddler and teen.
    Greatest hits of what happened when you called “UH-OH” from the other room.

  5. btw, kitch and bloginsong, that reminds me of the story where my brother, age 3, was in a mall dressing room with my mom, crawled out the bottom, went wandering the dressing room, and proclaimed from across the hall, “hey, Mom, I found a lady who’s MUCH fatter that you!”

  6. This list (and all the comments that followed) is fantastic! It would make for very entertaining reading when you child was in his/her teens!

  7. First time your preschooler asks you why you have hair down there. IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM. In a very loud voice. And actually, she didn’t call it hair. She called it fur. (Just didn’t know how far I could go here, feel free to delete!)

  8. How about…first time you have to climb into the tubes at McDonald’s to rescue your screaming child, first time your child screams $%#@ in the middle of library story time, first time your lose your child in Wal-Mart and decide that child leashes aren’t as barbaric and inhuman as you previously believed…. (I have a whole chapter in the book I’m writing on firsts!! I LOVE yours!)

    Your blog is fantasic. Killing me.

  9. Hi there! Just wanted you to know that I tried to leave you a couple of comments this morning. They haven’t shown up yet for some reason. I appreciate so much you visiting my blog and the hilarious comments you left for me. Your blog is spectacular and I enjoyed several of your posts, including this one, so much! Have a super night.

  10. Wow I laughed so hard reading this list and trying to be witty enough to add to it but I have nothing.

    I do believe however, that my son is not too far from #1 on your list.

  11. Pingback: A First for the Book « Faemom

  12. I linked to this post; I hope you don’t mind. Because I’m telling people you jinxed me with another first that isn’t in the baby book. Thanks, Nap. :-P

  13. Gibby and Nap: I feel compelled now to elaborate on my entry re: the first time you make disparaging remarks about your mommy’s body while she’s exiting the shower…

    I’m getting out of the shower and my girls are both in the bathroom with me (of course) and Miss M. points at my lovely nether region and exclaims, “Harryboy!”

    • Faemom, i welcome the link.
      TKW, I will never look at you the same. Actually, I will, but I won’t make eye contact with the face part of you so much as the Harryboy part of you. I can’t stop laughing. And I think we’ve found a name for TBA.

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