Sweet developmental moments we should add to all baby books:

First booger joke
First time Mom or Dad told you “You’re cruisin’ for a bruisin’, buddy”
First game involving tying grandma to a chair
First doll you nursed
First doll you beheaded
First time you made Mommy bleed (separate entries for nipples, intentional, and accidental wounds)
Moment you realized screaming at the top of your lungs made Mom and Dad lose their minds
First year you cried that you didn’t get more Christmas presents
Tallest store display you toppled
First menorah injury
Name of first person to whom you shouted “I don’t like you”
Photo of child at preschool to whom you said, “I can’t understand whining. Use a different voice”
First day that, beginning to end, was an unceasing joy