During dinner: “Maybe we could name the baby Jazz. Jazz is nice music. Maybe we could name the baby Art Tatum. He plays good pinano. Maybe we could name the baby LyleLovett because he talks his singing. Or name the baby Flower. Because I like flowers. Or maybe name the baby out of snow. ” Later, specifies we should *make* the baby out of snow, not name it Out of Snow.
In the tub, apropos of nothing: “Daddy, could you do me a favor? Can I have short shirt jammies tonight instead of long sleeve? Thanks.”
Spouse: If you drink from the bath, I”m taking you out…..okay, you’re out.
Peanut: Oooops. Here we go.
P: The baby is pretending the water it’s in took a trip to the ocean and it came back and now it’s hiding.
Me: The baby is hiding from the ocean-going water?
P: No. That water is hiding from the baby.
P: Anywhere that’s not a uterus.
“Mommy, I love you much as apple.
I love you much as snow.
I love you much as Daddy is stinky.
Mommy, I want to lick your eye.”
“Mommy, I want to lick your eye”
did you turn him into a gecko?
I love the name Flower!
And lick your eye? Tee hee. Did NOT see that one coming. That’s a fabulous little ditty he wrote there…
I vote for Lyle Lovett!!!!
Now a boy who wants to lick his Mama’s eyeball is a boy who LOVES his Mama.
I cannot wait to meet Peanut.
What is it with kids and drinking bath water? I really wish I knew, because they all do it constantly. I just cannot imagine that it actually tastes good, you know?
I’m glad I’m not the only parent who has to deal with boys trying to lick her.
And I never minded them drinking bath water because my parents didn’t die or go crazy from getting their mouths washed out with soap. Of course, if there was an accident in the water. . . .
So I used to work for an adoption agency and one day I was doing some cleaning out of old files and I came across the original birth certificate for a child. Now, I’m pretty sure that the mother here was going for the name “Jasmine,” but the way it was spelled was…”Jazzman.” I’m pretty sure the name was changed by the adoptive parents, but that kid will always be Jazzman (cue jazz hands!) to me.
Falling, were it not a flagrant violation of HIPPA, I would gladly share some of the more… let’s call them “creative” spellings of names I’ve encountered.
Falling and Dan, in total violation of all confidentiality regulations I will tell you that a nurse I know well who worked at Children’s Hospital in Oakland took care, in the NICU, of a baby named Vagina. Welcome to 1971, little girl. Mama liked the sound of that word.
I like Jazzman. And jazz hands. Not a fan of Jasmine, but who am I to judge? I named a kid Peanut. (Not really, but if you knew his real world name, you’d have the same reaction…)
I wish I had written down all of the names my children wanted to name their soon-to-be baby sister. Mother brain has stolen from me every single suggestion. But all were wonderful, as are Peanut’s suggestions.
“I love you as much as Daddy is stinky.”
I’m with Kitch. Lovett would be fantastic. And appropriate, if you ask me. Because what more are you going to do for that new little being?
And yeah, licking eyeballs! Oh the perfect kid-ism there.