Back in the day

My mother tells very amusing anecdotes about my childhood, especially the bits about my precocious use of language. My favorite are the loud questions in the frozen food section of a South Dakota grocery store: “Mommy, does Jesus have a penis?” Intense thumb sucking while affirmative answer is processed. “Mommy, does Santa Claus have a penis?” That settles it. Had to cover any potential special cases to the general rule. You know.

One of her favorite stories is from just after Brother and my first briefing about reproductive biology, wherein I holler from the backyard, “Mommy, Brother is kicking me in the uterus. Make him stop!”

Well, now that someone actually is kicking me in the uterus, frequently, at totally unexpected moments, that shrill complaint seems…well…hilarious. Thinking of calling her today with this pronouncement:

Mooooooooom, someone is kicking me in my uterus. But it’s kind of cute, so don’t make it stop!

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9 thoughts on “Back in the day

  1. sadly, the popular HIStorial figures all have frickin penises.

    i am sooooooooo with you on pro-snip. snip snip snip snip. hey, it’s better than chop chop chop chop.

  2. So, jc, can we counter Drill, baby, drill! With Snip, baby, snip!? (That’s all in reference to my Twitter post that if Congress wants to use health care legislation to eliminate women’s right to choose, against the will of the Court and 80% of Americans, then I want mandatory vasectomies for Congress. I will also accept their castration.)

  3. Now I have permagrin just thinking that you are getting kicked from the inside. Cute!

    And, btw, I adore your younger curious and articulate self.

  4. ck and Ink, this little goofball has been pounding away for almost 6 weeks and it’s still not boring. i loved Peanut’s hiccups, because he was stuck and not able to move much. This one somersaults and I almost yell, it’s so weird.

    Ink, you’d love the “that’s more than one tempting, it’s two tempting” and the “Whobody called, Mommy?” stories.

  5. Does s/he kick more after meals? We used to eat dinner really fast, then go sit on the couch and watch baby put on quite the show… ;)

    And yes, please…I want those stories!!! Whobody is a perfect word.

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