Okay, faemom, you asked for it. I’m already thinking I shouldn’t have copied and pasted. ‘Cuz this is, like, an hour of uninteresting schlock about my least favorite person…but I can’t turn down a quiz, homework, or opportunity to practice my Oprah interview, so here goes:

What’s your current obsession?

Figuring out my life. I’ve done some stuff and I want to do some other stuff. But not all the goals will be met just with the work I can do in a 24 hour day, and I’m a bit baffled as to which to tackle next. So I obsess over choosing and balancing and Lincoln Logging my life, even though it’s all just pretend because the little hostage taker is ruling the roost for now. Because after all these years, I still foolishly think I can plan stuff and have it go off as scheduled.

What’s you favorite color and why?

Don’t have one. Colors found in nature amaze me. Colors created by humans amaze me. Shades white, black, and grey fascinate me. And I’m a ‘it depends’ kind of person. The best color for a clear sky is not the best color for a rainy sky is not the best color for the living room is not the best color for frosting. Mmmmmm frosting.

What are you wearing today?

Clothes.  Whatever was nearest the bed when I got up. Probably mostly what was already on when I got up. No jewelry or shoes.

Why is today special?

I’m still breathing and so are the people in my life.

What would you like to learn to do?

Control my temper. Speak Spanish and French, read Latin. Quilt. Live in the moment. Suffer fools gladly. Get my kid to listen the first time I ask nicely. Work my SLR. Code html. Juggle (literally, not metaphorically). Find some balance in life. Let things go. See other things through to the end. Cross stuff off my list instead of just adding to the list. Find my list. Design fonts. Fly an airplane. Overcome fear of heights (probably that one first, before the planes.) Nap. Paint (art not walls). Sculpt. Throw pottery.

What’s for dinner today?

Cheese.

What’s the last thing you bought?

A book.

What are you listening to right now?

Snoring cat, increasingly forceful rain tapping the roof and window, occasional car going past the house, and the whipping frenzy of two pinwheels “planted” (by one adorable small person) in the windowbox outside the kitchen. Refrigerator. But overwhelmingly: quiet. Kid asleep, Spouse out with friends. Mmmmm, aloneness.

What’s your most challenging goal right now?

Get through the day without judging my every thought and choice. Also a PhD and a finished novel. But mostly the inner critic thing.

What do you think about the person who tagged you?

I think it’s grand that she didn’t tag but instead offered the option of joining. Very civilized of her, as is her wont.

If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?

New York City. Don’t get there as much as I would like, can’t afford it when I do, and could rent that sucker for a mint.

Favorite vacation spot?

Toss up…Kauai on the south shore near Poipu or the French side of the France/Spain border in the Pyranees.

What would you like to have in your hands right now?

A copy of my novel with the “Winner of the Nobel Prize for Fiction” emblazoned cover.

What would you like to get rid of?

The list is long, but since each niggling thing on that list makes me who I am, I’m going to say—nothing. Wishing to get rid of things is just regret repackaged. Do or do not. There is no try.

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?

Bed.

What super power would you like to possess?

Ability to be loving, patient, thoughtful, productive, creative, fun, and brilliant on just three hours of sleep a night.

What’s your favorite piece of clothing in your own closet?

The sweater Spouse just presented me before my trip to Seattle/sanity, saying that he thought it might be cold and I ought to have a new sweater.

What’s your dream job?

Editor at my own publishing house where we produce all manner of linguistic, grammatical, fictional, and non-fictional texts by genius writers. Free to those who cannot pay and ragingly expensive to those who can. I spend my days reading drafts, discussing the language with brilliant colleagues, and ensuring social justice throughout the world.

If you had $150 now what would you spend it on?

Savings account. Because that’s the way I roll.

What do you find annoying?

You name it. I’m not a tolerant person. Want a short list? Car alarms, leaf blowers, gas lawn mowers, voters who toe the party line without thinking, obscene wealth, narrow American worldview, grammatical errors, whining, country music, racism, sexism, reader response, unnecessary apostrophes, most of my college students, moms who say they just love parenting even though they have fulltime jobs and a nanny.

Describe your personal style.

Fashion style? Self-effacing, untidy, Pretty in Pink meets Katherine Hepburn meets poor college student meets mousy Berkeley soccer mom.

Communication style? Stream of consciousness and confrontational.

Management style? I’ll get you the tools you need to do your best job and any help you need, then I’ll stand back and  you’d damned well better deliver.

What fashion show would you want tickets to?

Can’t think of a bigger waste of time.

Who’s closet would you want to raid?

Annette Benning.

What are you most proud of?

Tough call…wrote and performed stand-up comedy;  got my Master’s degree; did more than a dozen triathlons while afraid of open water swims; stayed in a distant place after a nasty breakup just to prove I could make myself proud of something concrete rather than tuck tail and run home; left a pretty awesome job because I could do better; called and apologized six years later because it was the right thing to do.

Probably the comedy. Got paid in money and applause, and the latter lasted a lot longer.

The bloggers I’d like to know about are:

Any and all who have something interesting to say, even if they avoid this meme like the plague.

(The original meme included rules, which I deleted because I resent rules. Also because one of the rules was that I should change one question. So instead I changed the rules. You may now do whatever you like with this meme. )