This is your brain on sleep deprivation.

Things I have done, no joke, this month:

>> Put toothpaste on the preschooler’s toothbrush, and, while talking with him, shoved the brush into the baby’s mouth and started brushing.

>> Started putting away the clean dishes that Spouse had washed; noticed some oil on one. Washed it. Then without noticing rewashed all the other clean dishes from the full dish drainer and put them away wet.

>> Freaked out at dinner the other night—a desperately needed Ladies’ Night Out—because I had left my elastic hairbands on my wrist. Not because it’s unseemly and sorority-ish to wear ponytail elastic on my wrist. Not because my hair was unkempt and in need of ponytailing. The real problem? I’ve had short hair for about a month. I have absolutely no idea how the bands got on my wrist.

>> Filled a pot at the sink in preparation to cook something, brought it to the stove, then left the room and was surprised at dinnertime that we had to have sandwiches again.

At least I didn’t turn the stove on. Oh, wait…

>>Turned the stove on to roast some cauliflower. Once the preheat was done, opened it to find all the muffins I had baked the day before. They were a tad overdone.