Need a drink?

The other night I asked my six-year-old to please put both feet under the table when he eats.

I say it perhaps four times a meal, every meal of the day. And have for at least two years. The kid can’t sit still, and since he realized he can plant his feet off to the side of the chair and wiggle around while technically being seated, he’s unstoppable.

He usually rolls his eyes and whines, “Mooooooom,” then puts one of the legs temporarily under the table. But this time he grimaced and muttered, “Mean-ie, mean-ie, poo-poo-tini.”

Yes, of course I told him that we don’t call names. Right after I shot sparkling water through my nose and stifled the most painfully needed laugh of 2013. But between the two-year-old’s peals of infectious laughter and my undisguised mirth when I asked, “Did you just call me a Poopootini?” I’m pretty sure this name will stick.

So, like it or not, I’ve found my signature drink. I’m not sure how one makes a poopootini, but I’m pretty sure it involves kahlua and chocolate.

It had better involve Kahlua and chocolate. And not much else.

At least, that’s what I hope when my children run past me, partners-in-crime at last, grinning as though they’ve found the secret to eternal happiness, calling me Meanie Meanie Poopootini before carrying on with whatever plot they’ve devised for either seeking or hiding.

Is it terribly wrong that I find this behavior hilarious? Be honest. I won’t call you a meanie, for now I can’t say that without wanting an adult beverage.

26 thoughts on “Need a drink?

    • Oh, please do. And make a nonalcoholic one your boys can share. Because they might need to use the meanie meanie poopootini in their dinner repertoire, too. ;-)

  1. I think all early learning name calling/branding is hilarious. Although I have to admit that “Meanie Meanie Poopootini” is very original.

    I remember when one of my students yelled at me, “Liar, Liar, Pants on fire!” I busted out laughing and told him that I hadn’t heard that since I was his age. He was hurt and shocked that I didn’t seem to be upset about him calling me that and that he was pretty sure that he’d invented that expression.

    Kahlua and chocolate, never had it but it does sound good!

    • It’s rather lovely how each generation repeats something that we recognize from childhood and how they seem nonplussed that they aren’t the first. Nothing new under the sun, I guess, including liars with pants ablaze. ;-)

  2. Oh you better laugh at that. If you can’t laugh at that, what in the world can you laugh at? And I’ll take a double-virgin poopitini on the rocks.

  3. Chocolate mudslides are delish!

    I’ve been experimenting with Pumpkin Schnapps and Kahlua, oh yum. But I have missed Cocoa, time to switch it up.

    Peanut is a crackup, and his sidekick is adorable. Make them some hot cocoa and add some Kahlua and ice cream to yours! CHEERS my dear!

  4. Kahlua and cocoa – it’s a staple in this house. Never knew it had a name!!! Oh how the balance shifts rapidly when the littles realize that they can work together… The roller coaster ride has just begun! My best to you!

  5. We are in the middle of potty training and the “poo poo” issue seems to be a mountainous one. Your new cocktail has an entirely different ring to it for me. Sorry to ruin your delectable adult treat. Drink up!

    • Never for a minute do I forget that the poopootini should be *very* clear liquor.

      Oy with the butt wiping. Four years, approx., for every child on the planet. That’s a lot of mom tolerance, yo. A LOT.

  6. A Poopootini sounds good to me. So, no. No judgments here. In fact, I laugh at everything my children say – especially if it’s inappropriate. Yep. I’m THAT mom.

    • Fact is, poop is a funny word. I always laugh. And when they won’t eat, I tell them they should, because dinner is squirrel guts and spider poop. They eat it every time.

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