Things Not to Do This Week
Don’t let intense doubt about the mess you’ve made out of your life show. Especially in social situations.
Don’t let face get in way of angry toddler who has, for half his life, expressed anger by hair pulling and biting.
Don’t bother with balanced meals anymore. (Their “don’t eat” list seems lately to include eating anything I make that isn’t cracker or ice cream based.) Just give up and let them forage in the cabinet.
Don’t get angry at toddler for teething himself awake eight or nine times a night. Even though he’s totally doing it on purpose.
Don’t fall asleep while editing academic book. Editing intelligent prose in blocks of three or four minutes is counterproductive.
Don’t read through your peers’ and colleagues’ LinkedIn profiles. Such madness will only end in binge eating.
Don’t correct toddler for pulling your hair in his sleep. Removing his hand from your hair will make him shriek and wake fully, the results of which are more painful than having your hair pulled from the time he comes into bed with you at 1am until you give up at 6am.
Don’t go breaking my heart.
Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow.
Don’t try to use song lyrics in blog posts just because you can’t think clearly.
Don’t write lame “Not To Do” lists just because you think you’ve written too many “To Do” Lists.
Don’t capitalize To in title phrases like To Do and Not To Do.
Don’t hit publish. I know you’re sleepy, but remember this: Don’t hit