I need some good jokes for keeping the six-year-old entertained at the dinner table.
Our current fave:
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Panther.
Panther who?
Panther no panth, I’m goin’ thwimmin’.
(Credit to a three-year-old friend circa 2000.)
Your turn. Hit me with your best joke.
NaptimeWriting 
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Peas.
Peas Who?
Peas on earth.
and then my youngest one says the joke over and over again with every different vegetable and fruit and laughs like crazy
Why did the lettuce blush? Because she saw the salad dressing.
Thanks. Renata. Gotta love broccoli on earth. ;-)
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Daryl, I knew I could count on you!
knock knock.
who’s there?
banana.
banana who?
knock knock.
who’s there?
banana.
BANANA WHO?
knock knock.
who’s there?
orange.
orange who?
orange you glad I didn’t say “banana”?
Another non-knock-knock here, but one of my favorites:
Pete and Repeat are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Who’s left?
Repeat.
Pete and Repeat are sitting on a fence…
(continue ad infinitum)
Daryl, Pete and Repeat might be my favorite of all time.
Chickadee, that’s what I’m talkin’ about…oldies but goodies. Thanks!
I got nothin’. I am the worst joke-rememberer ever. But I’ll ask Miss D. when she comes home from school!
Dana, yes, please.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow w—
MOOO!
Heather, we loooooove interrupting cow. And pig. And bulldozer. And…
Thanks for the reminder!
this one’s for you, it has vegetables in it….
“This lady had green tomatoes in her garden, and her neighbor had bright, ripe tomatoes in her garden, so one day she asked her neighbor how she got her red tomatoes. “well, she said, “i wait for the full moon, then i go out into the garden and take off all my clothes and dance in front of the tomatoes. they get embarrassed, and turn red.” so the neighbor did the same thing. next morning the neighbor asked how her tomatoes were. “well.” she said, “my tomatoes are still green but my cucumbers grew three inches.”
these are for the kids:
knock knock
who’s there?
olive
olive who?
olive (i love) you soooo much
knock knock
who’s there?
anita
anita who?
anita (i need a) bath!!!
Tara, you’re awesome! Love ’em.
:)
knock knock
who’s there?
sue
sue who?
SUPRISE!!!
lol! i need a good adult book club. fast.
Wish I had something better than:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Alaska
Alaska who?
Alaska my mother!
(DAMN STRAIGHT.)
Kate, I’m down with any joke that references the central authority of mothers. ;-)
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Boo!
Boo hoo?
Why you crying Mommy?
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Nana
Nana who?
Na Na Boo Boo!
My fave that my 3 year old came up all on her own. After I told her the Banana, banana, Orange joke I started with another:
Me: Knock Knock
3YO: No one’s home!
Mad woman, your 3yo is awesome. When I do banana, banana, banana, orange you glad, my 6yo always says, “No.” He wants it to keep going. Ugh.
I forgot this one my kids like too:
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Impatient Cow
The person starts to say Impatient….
and the joke-teller interrupts with ..Mooooooo
(Not quite the same effect when writing it!)
You took all my knock-knock jokes..but…my Kindergartener told me one that I LOVED:
April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!!!
Oh, Elastamom, that’s super cool.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tuba.
Tuba who?
Tuba toothpaste.
Surely there are hundreds more stuck somewhere in my gray matter, but this late at night, that’s the only one that shakes loose.
Melissa, that’s awesome. He might actually get that one. You should hear the nonsequitors passing for knock knock jokes on his watch…
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
Christine, come here. There’s an owl in the dining room!
The only thing that could make that better is if the other John Hughes was still alive. And sending me knock knock jokes on my blog. *sigh* I miss John Hughes.
Good owl joke, though. Thanks!