I’ve recently diagnosed myself with a mild case of Blog Avoidance Syndrome. The causes are many, the symptoms are simple, and the prognosis is unclear. Let me ‘splain. No there is too much. Let me sum up.
We just moved. We just had several birthday parties. For small people. Involving cupcakes with candy eyeballs. The unpacking is getting really old. I have pressing things to do, like finish an article to submit it a.freaking.sap to a journal before someone else writes it and publishes it and rides its genius all the way to fame and glory and a tenured position at a major University. And I have to rework the novel that is 98% there and has been submitted to decent responses from agents but that needs just a a couple of days of work. And I need to exercise for the first time since January. And I need to get a babysitter so I can go more than 10 minutes without losing my cool. And I really need to update my playlist. And make baby food. And get a parking permit. And overthink the kindergarten decision we’ve kind of sort of maybe made.And hang pictures and knit something and sew something else and find a cure for cancer and start baking my own bread.
So while ideas for blog posts flutter in and out of the corners of my mind, I can’t hold a thought ’til the end of the day, which is when I carve out time to blog. Nor can I seem to find the time to write and edit. Nor prioritize the lame-ass musings I offer herein for the 200+ awesome readers who visit semi-regularly. Because I have other things to do. And the longer I go without posting, the more I think that those other projects are better uses of my time.
So forgive me my blahs. I need to get my act in gear and put my energy where my priorities are. But I can’t until I find the box that has the stuff I need. You’d think it’d be labeled as such, but I’m down to “office stuff,” “hats and shoes,” and “wine glasses”. And we all know which of those gets priority.
What I don’t understand is how other people do this. A mom of five children who unschools with respect and creativity for all. A mom who is promoting her new book and managing a business and reading up a storm. Families move all the time and manage to hang on. Other moms have small children and projects put on hold for longer than they’d like. Other academics get swamped with work and don’t keep up in one field. They all catch up eventually. So why am I counting on not getting back to things, not fixing the imbalance, not ever finishing any of the dozens of things on my list?
How are you all working and exercising and parenting and reading and connecting and moisturizing and cooking and thinking and enjoying? How the hell do you do it? Because I’m not doing any of it, really. Please, do, tell me your secret.
I’m not really doing it either. I don’t think any of us really are.
I know it sounds preposterous, but just pick one thing to do. For tomorrow. One part of one thing. Then it will be done…that part:) You might find that the weight of that one thing will give you the energy to do twice as much the next day.
And PLEASE find a babysitter. And give yourself a massive pat on the back for having only three boxes left. And remind me not to start sentences with AND.
Since I’m giving out stickers like a slot machine, email me your address and I’ll pop some sniffy or glittery or puffy shit in the mail for you.
Yeah, we all suck. Join the club. We are practicing our herkies.
I get done like 1/100 of the things I wish I got done every day. (Including revising that sentence for grammatical purposes. Not going to get done.)
Also? It’s okay if you don’t blog sometimes. That’s why we subscribe, so that whenever you DO post, we will know.
Also also? I don’t exercise and I moisturize only intermittently.
The people who are doing it all are liars and frauds. Or at least–at least–they have a nanny and a housekeeper.
I thought about exercising at 2am while trying to fall back asleep after the kids took turns waking me up. Thought about doing it regularly. Thought. Will I? Ha! When? My blogtime is when I’ve hit my fill of “Mama, can you do this…can we do this…he hit me…he took my doll…bubba-snack?…can we watch a show?” and I submit and turn on the TV and hide from my kids by escaping into the blogging world, usually on a morning like this, when I’ve gotten about 3 hours sleep and have no patience or tolerance for small ones exuberant energy. There’s really no time for it. It’s just my bad parenting shining through, apparently for the world to see. :)
Life is busy. I am having trouble doing much blogging these days (though just signed up for Twitter to see if I can at least do that…experiment).
In any case, hugs and good luck unpacking plus I am awarding you
1000000000000 glitters and unicorn points for quoting Princess Bride so beautifully.
I have the same syndrome.. I can’t seem to write a half-decent post for the life of me. Hopefully the ‘blahs’ end soon!
wait. there’s a princess bride ref in here somewhere? christ, i fail some more.
I just want you to know that I can’t do everything, everyday, the way that I want or it needs to be done. I walked out to the garage this afternoon and couldn’t remember why I was there. I have spent the better part of the week fighting with so many people to try to fix things that were never done the right way to begin with…
So, move over, honey…There’s another overworked, sleep deprived, overfrazzled, over committed mother that needs to sit on this bus to the mommy pity party!
So I don’t do everything I want to do, but I do get a good amount of stuff (including blogging) done late at night when everyone is asleep. I’m typically up two to three hours past hubby. Or I write, read, whatever when baby naps and eldest is in school. I also let the kids watch TV. Also, hubby really, really chips in on everything so that I don’t get overwhelmed constantly. For you, I recommend a sitter or more TV. But that just goes to show what a neglectful mom I am.
You can only do one thing well at a time. The rest you’ve got to let go of. Me? I’ve let go of cleaning, like ever.
[jc it’s a film reference not a book reference. I wanted to work in”Madam, feel free to flee” but nobody reads the original Morgenstern anymore.]
One glaring mistake Nap. I am an illiterate yutz.
Let me sum up: I’m dense. There are packing peanuts permanently lodged up in my frontal cortex. I lose brain cells every time I move. Hope this is the last one.
I’m fatter then the day after I gave birth the second time. moving and 2 kids and 1.5 showers a week and no stimulating conversation and the insanity of dealing with permits and house sale…. I tried to meditate while washing dishes thinking maybe if I give all my thoughts to the dish it will get it clean and refresh my brain. i am not sure if that makes me just hanging on or already falling over the edge. i’m not sure if sheer amazement is the right emotion to feel at dinner on the table. but I have come to the conclusion that “pregnant with 5th baby, unschooler, farm owner, knitter, clothing maker” blog I like to read; is not being honest with how much help she gets behind the scenes. everyone I know is in the same boat as you and me.
There is no secret. It’s like my mom always said, “You can’t have everything.” People who look like they’re doing it all, really aren’t. Something is suffering, or lacking, or being ignored. I firmly believe that. In my case, two things are sorely being neglected. My house and my personal appearance. Make that three. I’d also have to include my husband.
I do that too simply because this can quickly get overwhelming. If you feel the need to write. Write. I am guessing if you don’t worry about having to read and comment, you’d feel more relaxed? I would rather have more of your posts to read than to have you spend time commenting on mine.
It really does get better as they become older. You will get your life back piece by piece. Hour by hour.
I am with MacDougal: My husband is feeling like a blog widower these days…
I eagerly scanned all of the responses above, looking for the secret. Because, like you, I’ve been wallowing in a sea of obligations and crisis. One fire is put out and another appears. My blog has suffered. My favorite bloggers (you are one) have been neglected. Sending you hugs, because that’s all I have. No secrets here. I’m still searching.
5 kids and unschooling! I hate those moms. O.K. I don’t hate them, all people are a unique treasure. I just think they’re liars a little bit.
oh nappy. i only have time to do what i have to do, not a minute is spent doing what i want to do. i’m hoping things change in this regard once we’ve packed and moved and are unpacking, as you are. try to get one post in once a month so it looks like you’ve been doing it for years and years, which, actually, you have. this is the first chance in weeks i’ve had to read it. but i’m always glad i did.
I like this post. And I can give you a (belated) answer.
I need to write. It helps me retain an iota of sanity in the midst of being a mom to 2 busy, insane kids and this Life I have where I have to be so many things to so many people.
I also don’t think about what to write for posts. If something comes up, it usually writes itself in my head. This happens maybe once or twice a week. Then I do a weekly memoir prompt if it sparks something valid I want to share.
Finally, if I get an idea that needs to brew? I write in down in my Blackberry. I always have my phone with me, so it is easy to email myself an idea or write a sentence or two in a ‘Post-It’ I keep in the phone for that purpose.
Everything in my life is undone to an extent: unfolded laundry, sink full of dishes, christmas decorations still sitting in the guest room waiting for me to put them in the attic 4 months post-Christmas.
But writing? I need to squeeze it in for me to feel like Me. In my list of priorities, writing something (blog post or pages for my book) is more important than chasing dust bunnies or ensuring properly-folded sheets.
Oh sweetie. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this post. And I wish I had read it earlier. Because this is EXACTLY what I’ve been going through. I just can’t keep up anymore and I have a terrible guilty conscience. So I’d rather not blog at all than sit around feeling guilty all the time about not being able to visit all my favorite bloggy friends and respond to comments. I miss it so much, but I just can’t handle the guilt. I think you do an AMAZING job though, btw! I’ve always marveled at how much you post and how well you interact with your readership. That is something I’ve always sucked at. I just can’t ever seem to keep up. But thank you for this. It is good to know that even if it looks easy, other people who are awesome struggle too. And I’d love to know more about your book and your agent search! Sounds super exciting! Congratulations on getting so far already! And what did you decide about Peanut’s Kindergarten? I think I must’ve missed a bunch of posts on that…?
My delay in responding here is an indication of how well I am doing it (read: not). What I have learned and will have to re-learn every time I have a mummy meltdown (which is at least every three-or-so days) is that the people who say they are ‘doing it’ are lying and the people I think are ‘doing it’ are in fact ‘faking it’ just like I do when in public. I believe it’s called motherhood.
As for the list of things I want to do so badly that they make me nauseous and burn my throat with tears at the very thought of them (promote book, write next 5 books planned and begging for life, create the garden I have planned, sew heeeeeeeaps, exercise heeeeeaps, clean the house for the first time since we moved in in December 2009 and have a freaking shower), well, I’m learning to cry on the inside mostly, and I’m sending the children away for 6 hours a week so I can get home, clean up the breakfast bedlam, put on four loads of washing, feed the chooks, do the groceries, throw together an un-edited blog that amounts to not much more than a whinge-fest (in the hope that this will satisfy the muse banging at my creative brain), maybe get some dinner started and turn around to pick the kids up again.
PS – See how I don’t even bother to punctuate my sentences? Clearly not coping.
Be glad you don’t have severe Attention Deficit Disorder like I do. When I try to publish anything it could at any time be