Yo, Nap, you used to post daily. Where’ve you been?
Well, both kids are sick and have staggered their nighttime screaming so that I’m up ever half hour or so. I can barely complete a sentence, let alone be coherent or interesting. I just finished a client project, Hanukkah, all of our Christmas mailings, half a dozen kindergarten tours, and an awesome apathy themed party. Luckily, this is the Internet, so you won’t know how long it’s been since I showered.
This week’s effulvia:
Butter can play the kazoo. It’s hilarious and I amuse myself for hours watching him play the kazoo, take it out and shake it to figure out how it works, then jam it in his mouth again.
Peanut is pretty hilarious lately. When he’s not being a nasty, petulant, whiny little thing, he’s making us laugh. Thank goodness, because my patience is razor thin. “Mom, there’s just no way I’m having protein today. I’m just gonna have sugar until I die. Bye bye.” His language skills are miraculous. “I’m gonna snap up Butter and eat him then let his empty shell tumble into the trash.” Dude. You’re four. What do you know about empty shells? Oh. Well, yes, good point about your mom.
Finally had the guts to take my favorite patchwork sundress from toddlerhood, and the retro diner-esque green and brown dress I bought for Butter before I knew he was a he, and send them to my nieces. It was hard to do but I am so much happier now. Life and love and joy and frolicky frocks ought never be laid away in boxes. And every wiggle and scramble and dash and giggle of those girls in the reds and greens and yellows of my fierce hope for women of the future is exactly what those dresses were made for.
Oh Nap…you gave away dresses! They will be fierce women!
As for your four year old’s antics, you’d better watch out. he might eat you up out of your empty shell.
Lack of sleep sucks. I hope you get a long, hot shower and can drift off to sleep for more than three hours straight.
I agree with the protein suckage. Sugar is much better. That Peanut ain’t no fool. Unless the protein is bacon, of course. Then he’s a fool. Nevermind, tell him that bacon is suckyass protein. I want all the bacon on the planet.
I’m amazed you still have clothes from when you were a kid! That brown dress for Butter would prolly make a great Star Wars costume.
Peanut, I’m having sugar until I die, too. Might as well go out high on sweet and sour and chocolate. Especially after similar nights of no sleep. Without the sugar, I probably would die. Or take my kids out…
Peanut, you need to learn about salty snacks. Sugar is for amateurs. Power to the feta and the Cheetos!
If I witnessed Butter playing the kazoo, I think I’d melt into a puddle.
I can so relate – about sending the sundress to someone who can use it. I was so convinced that #2son was a girl I practically told the ultrasound tech she was lying because I had a dozen pretty little pink outfits waiting for him, I mean her. We had already given our boy-name to #1son. We didn’t have another boy-name, so surely this was a girl. And then, I hung onto those outfits for about 3 years, hoping. Alas, I finally gave them to a neighbor – and it was so hard to do. And I felt silly for holding onto them for as long as I did.
You have such a lovely way with words. I hope you know that.
Oh my god. I’m getting baby a kazoo. That will be awesome.
I, too, am a progressive woman saddled with two boys. I was so prepared to raise little feminists. Sigh. I’ll never get to teach someone how to shave her legs or be prepared for a period or how to handle retarded men tricks. But maybe one of my kids will be gay. One can hope.
“Sugar is for amateurs.” TKW, that’s brill.
Nap, see, even when you’re uber-stressed, you write the best posts. Dang, you’re a fantastic writer, babe!
Your kids are too cute for words, btw.
And that was really nice of you to send those clothes to a good home.
Which reminds me: on a recent craigslist post, it said “Free to a good home. Or bad one. Or an ambivalent one. Don’t care…just has to GO.” LOL!
Peanut should have his own blog. :-)
I cannot play the Kazoo.