Seems so wrong

Butter has been sick. Third ear infection in ten weeks, third cold in nine weeks. Not miserable, but a bit drippy and sad at night. More than reasonable, I think, for being the unwitting victim of preschool scourges without the benefit of preschool play. Peanut was ten months old when he got his first cold. This little dude was four months. Robbed.

So last night was particularly heartbreaking, given how long he’s felt out of sorts. Most night he either sleeps horribly or really well considering his age. On healthy, easy nights he sleeps almost six hours, nurses, then wakes every two hours to nurse. On sick nights he wakes as often as every hour for one of several comfort measures, only one of which he can handle himself.

Last night, with the ear infection brewing and the cold ramping up, he woke about every two hours, but before I could even get to him he was slurping on his thumb and falling back asleep. So I didn’t actually see him or pick him up for more than ei ghthours. And I woke at 4am, Spidey Senses tingling, wondering why he hadn’t cried or nursed yet. Peanut had awakened me in the wee hours but when I went in to answer his cries for Mommy, he wouldn’t say anything. So I went back to bed.

Went into the boys’ room at 4am and peered into the crib. Wide awake baby smiled at me. I reached down to pat him and felt him soaking wet and freezing cold.

He had puked all over himself some time in the night. Most likely gagged on the stuff clogging up his tiny ears and tiny nose. Probably hours before, when Peanut called for me and couldn’t articulate what the problem was.

Nice parenting. Didn’t even check on the sick baby except to listen to his breathing from the door all night while he lay cold and wet in a pool of his own vomit.

Makes me wonder how miserable he is the times he does cry. And reminds me why I’ll never let him cry. And makes me rethink the decision to stop co-sleeping.

Still, waking on my own to find a cold and wet baby who smells like puke is its own reward.

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15 thoughts on “Seems so wrong

  1. I am very sorry that Butter has been sick. Are you being hard on yourself? Are you letting guilt taking over? Please don’t! I am guessing that he’s happy to sleep through all that too! After so many nights of restless sleep, he must have been exhausted and really sometimes a good night sleep even in all that was a blessing. Confession: I used to slather a thick THICK layer of diaper cream before I put my youngest to bed. He was a bad sleeper and if he finally fell asleep, there was NO way I was going to wake him up to change his diaper. He needed his sleep. I needed him to sleep. I have also let him sleep through the night when he wet the bed. I just pulled his pants off, wrapped him in a blanket. He didn’t wake up. I wasn’t going to wake him up. Sleep in king. So there.

    Here’s to fast recovery to Butter, the awesome sleeping-through-everything baby! :-)

  2. I figured you meant you all sleep in a King so you all rolled over and one fell out but at least the little guy stayed asleep.
    But yes, sleep is king, too.
    I can’t feel too guilty because I didn’t ignore a sad baby who asked for help. I slept and he slept. The therapy will be for other issues.

  3. No matter what we do, guilt is part of the parenting landscape – a cruel joke to keep us on our toes, stop us from getting to comfy and cocky. But you know, I think kids are more resilient than we give them credit for…it’s our own paranoia, anxiety and guilt that is the problem.

  4. Awww…you poor thing. (And Butter too, don’t get me wrong, but there is little more guilt-inducing than finding a baby like that is. Especially when it’s the happy, easy baby. Wait, I didn’t say that, right?)

  5. Oh man. When things like that happen, I’m always grateful that kids don’t really have an established memory until 3 or so. But don’t feel bad. It sounds like he got more sleep than usual, which is really important for helping him get better. It’s awful that he’s been sick so often, though. Poor kiddo. Poor you! If you’re not doing it already, I recommend daily baths to help keep the germs at bay. (Knock on wood) Baby hasn’t been sick since we started daily baths, and eldest had been in preschool, six weeks of summer camp, and in two different preschools recently. We use hand sanitizer on eldest, too, when he gets home from various activities. Just a thought.

  6. Hope everyone feels better soon (sickness, guilt, and everything). And, just so you remember, you’re a wonderful mom. This could happen to anyone!!!!

  7. You are also deficient in unicorn, rainbow, kitty cat and heart stickers. The sticker sap virus is really sucking the chee out of us. We need to knock the shit out. Stickers for all!
    –when I get the energy myself to do a herky, I’ll try not to bust my ass.

  8. oh boy. poor mama. mother guilt sucks. but Butter is probably none the worse for wear AND better off having had some good sleep! Hope you’re all feeling better soon.

  9. If ever there was an argument for year around school this might be it… If kiddos were together all year around then perhaps they would become more immune to each others germs?? I could only hope… Hope Butter feels better soon and that the crud leaves your house completely!

  10. P, true. But he was sooooo cold. :-(
    Kitch, I wish there were such a thing. Except then I’d have to not believe in her, since she’s ABANDONED me.
    ck, of course you didn’t say that. ‘Cuz yours turned two and you know there’s no such thing for long.
    Fie, everybody under age 10 gets a daily bath. And we EO sanitize the hell out of the older one, who never used to get sick much. I’m going to look into pediatrically acceptable herbs, since the lad can’t eat any more fruit and veggies if he tries.
    letmestart, thanks.
    Ink, you’re the best.
    jc, you’ve nailed it. Not enough chee. Gotta get our crackers on and boost our stickermmunity!
    Shawna, I hope so.
    Heather, I think it’s the argument for boarding school. Let ’em keep their cooties in a festering, closed community. ;-)

  11. Oh Nap…so hard when easy going baby wakes up covered in his own vomit…Hang in there…The second one always get whatever the first one brings home and doesn’t get…HUGS…

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