I’m trying desperately to focus on client work before a trip to the center of the sun…I mean Georgia…this week.
Cat One keeps searching the house for the recently deceased Cat Two. It’s heartbreaking.
Butter is delightful. Peanut is so much more interesting now that I’m trying not to control him all the time. Spouse is many things to many people and I don’t blog about grown-ups here unless ranting about the most dreadful amongst us, so I’m not enumerating any of his qualities, delightful or not.
And the days still go by blindingly fast, with nothing “done” and so much experienced. When I focus on what I’ve seen and felt, I love this year. When I focus on what I’ve accomplished I’m crushingly depressed. Guess I have to flip a major U-turn in how I’ve always gauged my life, because the “what I’ve done today” and “how far the projects have progressed” lists have always colored my sense of self.
Must redefine to survive.
It could be worse. You could have written 389 pages of a novel and still not had a real conversation with your eldest, like, ever. At least that’s not for want of trying. Eldest is getting better with his communication, but we could never have the conversations you’re having with Peanut at this point. Makes me feel like an accomplished writer, and very bad mother. Very.
Darling, just see this year of your life (and probably the next one, if we’re honest) as one of a Noble Service Dog. You know, the ones that get awards because they drag people out of burning buildings or can smell an impending seizure. But without, you know, the awards or the picture in the paper. :)
@Fie his different communication abilities aren’t your fault. So you can’t define your parenting by them. Excruciating is what that relationship must be, given your devotion to words, and I don’t know how you cope, honestly. Love love love him, and the words might come later.
@Kitch you’re hilarious. It’s the knowledge that, after being a service dog for two years I was promoted to partial human for a year. Now I’m back at dog. Love him. Want to work and think. You know.
I’d like to send this out to Nap, the lemon curd peanut and butter momma. Begin the ass wiggling.
There is always a thought on your posts that make me smile,make me think or that I can relate with. Today it is this:
“the days still go by blindingly fast, with nothing “done” and so much experienced.”
So true and I too couldn’t be happier with letting things go and enjoying my babies more than anything.
Thank you for your comment on my Blog yesterday. I have hit a wall with my 3YO. I am struggling to find the serenity amidst the eye ball scratching, hair pulling, arm biting, kicking upside the head temper tantrums. Reading your blog makes me rethink some of my actions. Just wanted you to know.
I don’t know what you did not accomplish this year that bothers you so much. Did you NOT just create a human being??!! And keep the said newly created human being alive and very well entertained??!!
Mothers with young children really really need to give themselves a huge break. I mean it!
@jc I freaking love that song. Always have. Think I was a Pip in another life.
@Jen Oh, darlin’ I feel for you. We had a face scratching, full-length car ride tantrum, and throwing baseball bat at Dad kind of day. And I was really impatient. Glad to make you rethink and search for serenity in some way, because heaven knows comments like yours do the same for me.
@subWOW I know that. I really really do. And half of my brain shouts it from the mountains. The other half says, “what else?” It always says that. But somehow the human creation and daily older human not-killing should register with it. Maybe if I present at a “how to create and grow and love a human, and love but not kill another human” conference…
“I’m in a hurry to get thing’s done.
I rush and rush until life’s no fun.
All I’ve got to do is live and die
But I’m in a hurry and don’t know why.”
I get depressed when I realize how little I got “done” too.
Breathe in and out, savor the good moments, learn from the stressors so that you may avoid or circumvent. But do not define yourself by accomplishing things on a list, unless they bring you joy…