Me: What did you do at school today?
Peanut: chased people with shovels.
Me: Pardon?
P: Chased people with shovels.
M: Why?
P: To see if I could make them sad.
M: Did it work?
P: Yup.
M: And then what did you do?
P: Chased them with shovels again.
M: How’d that work out for you?
P: Mom, did you know this? A’s mom takes away the shovel if you chase people two times with it. But B’s dad waits for three times before he takes it away.
M: Oh. Um…Well, people are all different. But we all have the same rules.
P: No we don’t. Three times is not the same as two times.
Um, so we’re learning math and how to choose the most lenient parole officer today at preschool?
NaptimeWriting 
See? That’s what you get for teaching him how to reason. (On a side note, we can NEVER let our children meet. I know I’ve joked about it before, but seriously? They’d be a diabolical pair.)
Sounds like he is developing some effective observational skills! Future scientist?
The title alone cracked me up.
Or, he could be in prep to become a social scientist studying the differences between men and women in dealing with crime and punishment. :-)
I’m still giggling after reading this post three times.
That is some character you’ve got over there! Hysterical stuff!
Future human behaviorist!
Oh dear. Put the shovel down and walk away, Peanut. Easy… easy…
Seriously, people, are you starting to glimpse my life? You think I make up the tension and the fraught-ness and the intricate machinations involved in getting us all through the day alive, don’t you? But I don’t make this stuff up.
Calvin? Meet Hobbes.
Have I mentioned I have a new-found respect for Calvin’s parents as of…about…three years ago?
My favorite part of this post?
The part where Nap, after hearing that her son is chasing other children with a shovel, calmly asks, “How’d that work out for you?”
You rock, sister.
This post is classic! I’m bookmarking it for my next giggle fix. Or when my little monsters are driving me crazy!
I laughed out loud while reading this. That’s so funny! And I loved your reaction, “How’d that work out for you?”
He’s a pretty smart kid! Don’t know if that’s a good thing for you or a bad thing.
Should we commiserate over drinks and chocolate? Just wait until Butter joins the mayhem.
I like chasing people with shovels sometimes too.