Do not start searching online for rescue dogs. And especially don’t start looking to rescue a dog of one breed, then see a picture of a wounded dog and start contemplating a cross-country trip to rescue it. And especially don’t click on the links to dogs with special needs and decide to adopt every single deaf dog in the country.
Especially the ones whose “parents split up and they didn’t want him any more.” Are you kidding? I’m sorry, what? You split up and sent your dog to the shelter? There’s a special place in hell for a–holes like you. Dog can’t get adopted out of the shelter even though he knows ASL, because he needs to be the only dog at home (gets spooked when big dogs sneak up on him). Oh my god, it’s my kid! *He* also knows ASL and wants to be the only kid at home because he’s spooked when big dogs sneak up on him. I am seriously considering taking a trip to Ohio and bringing home the last thing we need right now just because there’s a lonely soul out there who deserves love.
Someone please adopt these dogs before I wind up with all of them…
NaptimeWriting 
You’re such a softy.
How do you think we ended up with a one-eared springer spaniel mix?
@Britt can you imagine us bringing a deaf Great Dane to Thanksgiving to play with your pups? Seriously, I have to do as Fae says and knock off the search for the less advantaged and listen to podcasts about…oh crap…the totally disadvantaged. Why can’t I be the cold, bitchy, callous wretch I’m rumored to be?
If you know you’re that kind of person, don’t read those kinds of things. Shouldn’t you be doing something more constructive, like listening to podcasts that will expand your mind?
Ah, tender heart, you are tender of heart.
I was going for an “Ah, Grasshopper” voice there, in case my terrible sentence construction threw you off…