Long trip from the doctor’s office yesterday, and lots of traffic, so I put on my ‘most patient mother of a verbal, almost-three-year-old kid’ ears and had almost two hours of conversation with Peanut. Favorite snippets:
[silence, silence, singing, silence]
P: If baby comes I house, I hit baby.
M: We don’t hit babies. Why do you want to hit?
P: Babies small, so I hit them.
M: We don’t hit babies.
P: I want hit them, I no want them be sad.
M: Well, hitting hurts, so if you hit a baby, it will get sad.
P: Babies don’t know, so I hit them, they be happy.
later, with no lead in:
P: Mommy, I very big!
M: Yeah, baby, you are very big.
P: No, I getting big.
P: I want take these hands, give them to people who need, get new hands.
P: I want take these hands, give them people who need, get BIG hands.
[blink, blink, blink, trying to decipher, then not laugh]
M: You’re getting big, and you want big hands?
P: Huh. [translation: yes. No idea where he got this contraction of uh-huh, but I loathe it.]
M: So you are going to give your hands to people who need and get new, bigger hands?
M: Well, sweetie, the parts of your body don’t come off. As you get big, your hands will get big, too. [not wanting to squash the creativity, though it’s too late now, ] But wouldn’t that be fun? If we could take off our bits and pieces and get new ones?
M: We take off our noses, put on different noses; we take off our hands, get bigger hands; we get of our feet, put on smaller feet?
P: huh. I want take off me shoes. That okay?
M: Yeah, that’s okay.
later, answering a question about college
M: College is a kind of school where you can choose. School is usually learning letters and numbers and reading and games, but when you get big enough to vote, you can choose college. And if you want to be a doctor, college teaches you about bodies. And if you want to make books, college teaches you how to write good books.
P: And if I want be car maker, college teaches how cars go and how wheels go and how motorcycles go and how trains go and how BART go and how man go and how ladies go and babies go and bruzzers go and sitsers go and I don’t know.
and my favorite of the day
P: Name this is.
M: This what, babe?
P: Name this, this, where HG live.
M: This is San Rafael.
P: No San Teo. San Fell.
P: Name Uncle B live.
M: Los Angeles
P: Not like lost your toys. Like lost your angeles.
M: That’s right. Los Angeles, Los, different than lost. Different word. Really los angeles, the angels, in Spanish. Los. Different from lost.
P: Uncle B live in Toast Angles.