So, so wrong

Crossing the street, I saw something red in the road. My heart skipped a beat as I thought it might be a Red Vine. I actually started thinking about whether it would be wrong to eat faux licorice out of the street when I realized it was some sort of electrical tubing.

And *then* I realized I have a problem.

Surely I should have known before this little incident? Or been shocked when I realized I wasn’t even a little embarrassed that I have the germ ethics of a toddler?