Contrarian. Rhymes with Librarian.

Me: Peanut, please don’t climb on the furniture.
P: Why?
M: Because you could get hurt.
P: No I won’t.

M: Pea, please leave the trash in the gutter.
P: Why?
M: Because it’s germy.
P: No it’s not.

M: Peanut, honey, please sit while you eat.
P: Why?
M: Because if you wiggle all over you’ll spill.
P: No, I won’t.

M: Honey, we don’t throw in the house.
P: Yes we do.
M: No. The rule is no throwing in the house.
P: Why?
M: Because whatever gets thrown could break something.
P: No it can’t.

M: Pea, please help me by carrying your lunch box to the car.
P: Why?
M: Because I can’t carry too many things at one time.
P: Yes you can.

M: Sweet thing, next time, please wait one minute until I finish on the phone.
P: Why?
M: Because I can’t hear two people talking at once.
P: Yes you can.

M: Peanut, please use a smaller voice.
P: Why?
M: Because it’s early morning and nobody is ready for a big voice yet.
P: Well, I am.
M: I mean that Mom and Dad and the neighbors can’t take it.
P: Yes you can.

M: P, please clean up for bath.
P: I won’t.

M: Pea, please don’t point that at me, I don’t like it.
P: I will point at you because I like it.

M: Babe, please bring that shirt to the laundry.
P: No.

M: Peanut, do me a favor, please, and use your inside voice.
P: NO!

I can’t wait to teach this kid to drive.