Me: What did you do at school today?
Peanut: chased people with shovels.
Me: Pardon?
P: Chased people with shovels.
M: Why?
P: To see if I could make them sad.
M: Did it work?
P: Yup.
M: And then what did you do?
P: Chased them with shovels again.
M: How’d that work out for you?
P: Mom, did you know this? A’s mom takes away the shovel if you chase people two times with it. But B’s dad waits for three times before he takes it away.
M: Oh. Um…Well, people are all different. But we all have the same rules.
P: No we don’t. Three times is not the same as two times.

Um, so we’re learning math and how to choose the most lenient parole officer today at preschool?