Tag Archives: asl

Sign language for the short tempered and goofy

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Butter is desperate to communicate with us, and is much more clear than I expected for this age. He signs “all done”( or “touchdown,” depending on your perspective) when he will not tolerate any more of something, and shakes his head viciously back and forth for “hell no!”

Like his mama, his two speeds are “absolutely not!” and “right this very minute!”

He’s also modified the sign for “want” to look like he’s conducting an orchestra. Make no mistake, though, it means “I must have that right now. Right now right now!”

So he makes it clear when he wants the doll on the shelf, refuses to eat any more of a new food, and is all done with me having time to myself. “Mommy, I must have that doll immediately! No way, oh hell no, am I gonna eat cottage cheese. Now, I’m done with Daddy holding me. Hope you enjoyed your twelve seconds of cutting an apple for yourself. Time to put me back on your aching back. Touchdown!”

Do your bleeding heart a favor

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Do not start searching online for rescue dogs. And especially don’t start looking to rescue a dog of one breed, then see a picture of a wounded dog and start contemplating a cross-country trip to rescue it. And especially don’t click on the links to dogs with special needs and decide to adopt every single deaf dog in the country.

Especially the ones whose “parents split up and they didn’t want him any more.” Are you kidding? I’m sorry, what? You split up and sent your dog to the shelter? There’s a special place in hell for a–holes like you. Dog can’t get adopted out of the shelter even though he knows ASL, because he needs to be the only dog at home (gets  spooked when big dogs sneak up on him). Oh my god, it’s my kid! *He* also knows ASL and wants to be the only kid at home  because he’s spooked when big dogs sneak up on him. I am seriously considering taking a trip to Ohio and bringing home the last thing we need right now just because there’s a lonely soul out there who deserves love.

Someone please adopt these dogs before I wind up with all of them…