Butterbean, at the ripe old age of Four, has dozens of nightmares a week. And like his mother, he talks in his sleep, so I hear the dialogue for a lot of his worst dreams.
It would seem, from circumstantial evidence around midnight, that his older brother and his preschool friends torment him, a lot, in his dreams. It would seem, from what he bellows at the imaginary aggressors in his dreams, that nobody gives him a turn.
And that he had it first.
And that people should just…NO!…just stop and…NO!…people should..NOOOOOOO!…just knock it off. Times infinity.
He had a lot of nightmares the other night. I stopped working to walk upstairs and comfort him at least a dozen times. I smoothed his hair. I adjusted his covers. I woke him to use the bathroom.
And he kept yelling at all the people wronging him and taking his toys and making him wait too long. Including me.
“Mommy! Mooooommmm? Stop it!” Out like a light and yelling at me for maligning him.
So I turned off the computer and put him in my bed. I brushed my teeth in the dark and climbed in. And the first few times he kicked and bellowed, I smoothed his hair and Shhhhhh’d him.
And within 20 minutes, he was laughing out loud in his sleep.
He giggled and curled in a ball and snuggled next to me.
And laughed some more.
I didn’t sleep much that night.
But I did for just one night what I won’t be able to do during the days: I stopped whatever he perceived as injustice. And I got him comfortable enough to laugh.
Would that it were that easy, through his life, to stop all the injustice, to get him everything he wants, and make him comfortable enough to laugh. I wouldn’t it I could, of course, but I really want to. That’s not my job. Life will be unfair, he will be left wanting, and many days he won’t have the space to giggle. But if I fix everything he’ll never be a fully functioning adult.
For now, though, I get some space, in the dark of the small numbers, to make everything better.
That is my superpower.