Hosting Adventure Part One

Part One, Day One:

Our international house guest has been in my care for twelve hours. She’s what I hoped for: a delightful, funny, adorable creature who is teaching me a lot about her culture, her country, and the perspective of an Internet-generation adult.

Proto-adult, really. She’s twenty. I had forgotten how important things like clothing and leg-hair removal mattered at twenty.

Our new friend is gracious. She’s been thanking us for everything at each turn. And as I prepared dinner, without being asked, she wordlessly went through the house tidying. As I made lunches for the boys for tomorrow, feeling a bit frustrated that I’ve added another child to might daily chore list, I asked if she wanted to make her own lunch or if I should do it. She furrowed her brow and said, “It would be easier if you do it. But starting tomorrow you must give me responsibilities for the house. I feel as though you’re my mother, and I don’t like doing nothing.”

Díos, mío, how I’ve wanted to hear that from my children. And now, only one day old, this most recent newborn has uttered the words I’ve wanted to hear for years. “Give me something to do that will help you; it’s unfair that you do so much for me.” The other two keep demanding that I help them dig up the garden and pour the dirt all over the pathway to “make a new road.” Here’s a third child who wants to learn how to use the washing machine so she can do all our laundry.

And as impressive as washing machine is, there are many more items we take for granted that have shocked her. She really doesn’t understand “heater.” She can’t stop examining the hardwood floors and the fireplace. She’s poked around the latter three times, as though it might go away if she doesn’t check in. She told me that if someone put wood on their floor in the Dominican Republic, people would think he was crazy. She asked what she was hearing when I turned on the clothes dryer. As I explained, her eyes grew bigger. Slightly bigger than when my three-year old threw a plate at a cafe. She explained in three words and one gesture that in her country, he would have a handprint on his face.

But the biggest jaw drop of the day was when I explained, in detail, what an automated dishwasher does. Her eyes simply wouldn’t blink as she breathed, “magic.”

It is. Think about it.

When we selected some blackberries in the store and sampled them after they were in the cart but before we paid, she was shocked. She looked around as though the grocery police would grab her and throw her from the store. I’m pretty sure she checked her pocket for her passport before she bit the blackberry.

She returned the favor by shocking the heck out of me. If you pay your electric bill and your water bill in the Dominican Republic, you sometimes get electricity. You sometimes get water. But not often, really, and not predictably.

And if you don’t park in the garage at night, your car, or bits of it, will be stolen.

I’m sure we won’t always be able to impress each other. There are some things that are bound to be issues. Hosting a foreign exchange student for three moths will not be as easy as it has been the first half day. And I have only seen glimpses. We’re Berkeley vegetarians. She’s a Dominican carnivore. We eat as much local, whole, unprocessed, organic food as we can. She prefers soda and juice to water or fruit. She told me tonight that, when I make her cheese, mayonnaise, and ketchup sandwich (oh, wow, I just gagged a little), for one day it’s okay to use whole grain bread. But otherwise, that’s for people on diets and she’d prefer heavily processed bread. The delightfully squishy kind where the nutrients are stripped then painted back on. My words not hers. Except the diet part. Seeds and grains are for diets.

Tongue still bleeding from the self-silencing.

She gets significant respect for trying, though. I’ve had her try veggie chorizo, hummus, and a smoothie. On her first day. Hummus is good, she said. But not for sandwiches. Veggie chorizo? “Spicy? Is that the name for this feeling? I don’t like spicy, I guess. I changed my decision.”

So now that I’m better informed than I was during last night’s panic, I can tell you that this university student, with aspirations of a masters degree from a university outside her country, has an impressively open mind. After I explained why we have four different ways of disposing of kitchen waste, she wondered aloud why more cities don’t compost and recycle. She didn’t bat an eye when I told her that Spouse is the guy who does dishes and laundry. She might even win over the little guy, who is quite choosy indeed.

We had a busy first day. There was a lot of hanging up clothes and trying on clothes and hanging them back up, then trying them again.  She brought a lovely assortment of sleeveless blouses and dresses. So I found in my closet several lightweight suit jackets (that fit, thankfully) so she can make it to work without freezing to death.

Because I would hate to lose my new, cooperative, conscientious child to hypothermia.

13 thoughts on “Hosting Adventure Part One

  1. oh i am loving this story already!! all the chambers of my heart are so delighted at the possibilities for you both. it reminds me of when i lived for a year in china in high school, and when my brother lived for three with a family in the dominican (in the peace corps). it makes me want to travel! keep posting about it!!

  2. HOORAY for cooperation!

    My husband’s aunt is from the D.R. She’s one of 12 kids. I can’t even imagine the culture shock of moving to a farm in the middle of nowhere in freezing upstate New York so far from such a large family. But she’s been here for thirty or so years now (and is a very respected elementary school principal), so I guess it worked for her.

    Fingers crossed things continue to go well for all of you . . .

  3. Wonderful…maybe even the boys will notice that she does things to help and they might surprise you and want to imitate her…wouldn’t that be magic?

    • Well, they joined together to clean the house for her arrival. Without being asked. The little guy dug through closets until he found an unused pouch of baby wipes, and split them between himself and his brother. And they cleaned everything they could find.

      Oh, the thanks they got for that spontaneous adventure in family helpfulness. I’m pretty sure there was dancing and ice cream.

  4. I am so fascinated to hear about all of this. Adventure indeed. And I give you major props for being open to “entertaining”. I do believe it will be profoundly enriching for adults and kids alike in your house, and yet, i don’t believe I would be so brave as to take on the experience. I am feeling so very much in the weeds in my house that I can’t imagine inviting another into the madness. But, your post puts things into perspective for sure. I can’t wait to read more.

    And PS
    After she is gone, can I be your next foreign exchange student? Jersey is foreign, isn’t it?

    • I think what put me over the edge was the lack of complete surprise. She is known to a good friend. There are several people in the area who have joined forces to give her a job, a community, and a place to stay. We’re not alone in this, and we know whom to call if things go awry.

      My boys are neither too old nor too young for this. My oldest is interested in differences: how people live and what they eat and how they make money and what they value and believe. Pretty awesome opportunity. And at just the right time when I have significant need for solitude for my work….heeeeeeyyyyy. Wait a minute!

      Oh well. Can’t turn back now.

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