‘Twas, in fact, also the day that leads into the fourth night of Hanukkah and two days after Solstice.
A day full of things to do and no breathing room to do them in.
A day where client work presses in on one side, giftmaking from the other. A day of school-lessness the likes of which we had plenty in the summer but which I’m not used to.
A day of trips and falls and blood-streaked ice and crying, of errands and tasks best attempted alone, a state exactly the opposite of today’s full stores, jammed parking lots, and backseat teeming with crying, bloody, small children.
A day in which I hoped to post a “before I lapse into gratitude mode tomorrow and for the rest of the year, I’d like a day to bemoan all that I am NOT grateful for” piece. One that covered things like having my name always precede the words “I want”; like feeling as though the clutter created by four people living together actually gets piled atop my head each night so I have to choose amongst sleep, exercise, reading, writing, editing, or removing the catastrophic pile of crap from my head and shoulders. Like balancing the joy of watching my children play, totally absorbed in their awesome worlds or merriment and imagination with the guilt from wanting to be away from my children more with the frustration of being with my children every waking minute of every single day. Like mean people, people who don’t do their fair share, and people who bicker in my living room while I’m trying to stinking cook a stinking healthy breakfast in here!
But I don’t have time to write that post. I don’t have the energy to write that post. And, honestly, considering the fact that I’ve spent the day running around with and after two small people, one of whom needs me 55 seconds of every minute, and still managed to get all the ingredients for our holiday gift-making extravaganza, I’m feeling a little less ungrateful, and a little more “bring on the resolutions, 2012, because I have a head start!”
In fact, since I haven’t yelled all day and I sacrificed my solo time during the little one’s nap to do science projects with the bigger one, I’m finishing the year with a personal-improvement to-do list more crossed off than not.
If I finish my editing, rewrite my novel, exercise, drink more water, and eat more veggies at every meal, I’ll be so far ahead of my own game it’ll be 2013 in a week.
Happy Ungrateful Day! (if you can find the time and energy to be ungrateful, that is; otherwise happy fourth night and happy second day of traveling closer to the sun and happy day before the night before Christmas)