Another to-do list

To Do. (NB: This week. Seriously, hurry up already.)

1. Reconfigure novel. Move scenes to where they should go. Trim or add to make perfect.

2. Teach toddler to sleep better. Teething is no excuse for waking eight or nine times a night. He’s clearly doing this on purpose.

3. Polish journal article #3; Submit journal article #3.

4. Make pasta from scratch. Freeze.

5. Submit novel.

6. Practice Alexander Technique while awake at 11pm. 1am. And 2am. And 4am. And 5am. You don’t have to fix yourself, though.

7. Speak with sleepless toddler about his bad attitude.

8. Start college fund for kids. See if 529s accept dryer lint as deposit.

9. Write journal article #4. While writing, judge self for not doing this sooner.

10. Update LinkedIn profile and start self promotion blitz.

11. Get lots of contract editing work.

12. Learn to quilt. And cross-stitch.

13. Start etsy for sarcastic handmade stuff.

14. Complete lots of contract editing work.

15. Choose languages to learn for PhD program.

16. Practice bass. (NB: not the fish. Try sleeping, maybe, after perfecting bass. No…as I said, not the fish. Get some caffeine, maybe, while practicing bass. Seriously, what is it with you? Not. the. fish. Why would I list “practice a fish” on a list of things to do? Come on.)

17. Speak with self about bad attitude.

18. Learn two languages. as jump start on PhD requirements.

19. Design and print photo albums for grandparents’ holiday presents.

20. Arrange for sitter next month for Date Morning. Date Night means paying sitter to ignore sleeping kids, which Spouse and I do really well.

21. Write second novel.

22. Sell baby stuff on craigslist.

23. Make microloans.

24. Get part time job with great benefits.

25. Apply for PhD program.

26. Get grad school loan. Sell soul or children to ensure retirement out of debt.

27. Quit job with a year of 401k savings. That should be enough for retirement.

28. Complete PhD program.

29. Write third novel.

30. Floss more often.
Using Alexander Technique.
While composing music.
And doing gluteal exercises.

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22 thoughts on “Another to-do list

  1. That is a serious list. Mine has, like, ‘figure out what to make for dinner from garbanzo beans and a can of olives, as that’s all that’s in the cupboard and the store is daunting’ and ‘daydream about napping.’

  2. Um, I’ve done alot on your list. Do I win sum fin? I’ll take one of those mounted singing bass. (*some fin?* get it. I quit my day job!) It’s bass-ackwardly appropriate for my life right now.

    Mine has:
    1. Finish syllabi. Fuck yes, I’m teaching classes. again. shoot me. pleez.
    2. Type out notes for certification test. Yes, I’m taking another fucking test.
    3. Buy books. Fuck yes, I’m taking classes. again. I have srsly gone bass-shit crazy.
    4. Shop for cross-trainers. I’ll be at the gym/trail between classes. My current shoes suck.
    5. Get a good travel coffee mug. I’m soooo gonna need it. Several, probably.
    6. Scope out the place for a good reading spot. I need to find a lovely tree or cafe. (see 4,5)
    7. Orientation. Oh. My. Dog. What.The.Hell.Am.I.Doing. Pass the bass. I can beat myself over the head with it.

  3. Well, gosh. Good luck.

    Wait a sec. How about just focus on #1 and #5 because you will feel like friggin’ Superwoman when that’s done. As you should. Because there is nothing as heavy as that desire to tweak/submit/say to the universe that it’s time for this to fly.

  4. Re:
    #2 – that’s why there’s tylenol – it eases the guilt
    #4 – why in the world would you make pasta from scratch unless you had to (read allergy) because I’ve been there, done that
    #8 – don’t bother, you won’t have enough money anyway – ask BigLittleWolf
    #10 – yeah I need to do that too
    #12, 13, 16, 17, 19, 22 – those belong on “nice to do” list but not must have’s
    #30 – I don’t know – I’ve never flossed, never had a cavity.

  5. Melissa, thanks for adding “daydream about napping” to my list. Awesome. And more realistic than actually putting “napping” on my list.

    GlitterU, I love that list. Especially the profanity. Teaching, studying, working out…good thing you’re getting good travel mugs. Sans plastic lining, please. Cuz I need your brain around for a long time.

    Ink, the last time I did both #1 and #5 I got to the point where I needed to do #1 and #5 again. I wonder if just putting it on the list in perpetuity will make it the same as actually revising and submitting, revising and submitting, revising and submitting.
    I mean, of course not. I should get right on that. Before the pasta. Mmmmmm. Pasta.

    Cathy, I love that you just took three things off my list, namely the college fund, the quilting, and the cross stitching. I also totally dig that you think my attitude adjustment can wait, but the baby’s can’t. You’re my kind of woman.

  6. Cathy, I **strenuously object** to the removal of the bass practicing. She needs a good piece of bass every now and then to practice on. The bass is really a ‘must-have.’

    Nap, your list is lacking in cursory language skills. I bought a Kleen Kanteen online. The very day I bought my car, spanking new off the lot, I drove out onto the highway… about 10 miles down the road, I BROKE the cupholder. I have exactly 1 travel mug that fits it, and yes, it’s plastic crap that’ll eventually kill me. Haven’t found another mug that fits it. Need to take a bartender’s class so I can get my pouring skills down, I’ll be playing musical cups for months.

    Also re: college fund. Suze Orman’s advice (I am quite sure) would be to fund your Roth to the max rather than using 529. You can always access your Roth without penalty, and it can be used for anything. You have to use the 529 for education. If you fund your Roth to the max, and have money “left over” to put in 529 after your own 401k, then go for it. (Suze, if you’re reading, HOW I AM DOING?!!)

  7. Glitter, you’re the coolest. But a Kleen Kanteen will burn the crap out of your hand if you put coffee in it. Mayhaps a ceramic with a silicone lid?

    Yes, Suze would say that. You’re doing quite well. Especially because you know my bass is necessary. So is handmade pasta. But Cathy’s so very right about the squats and floss.

    And hey, are you suggesting I need to father effing add some father effing cursing to my posts? Here ya go, Batmobile.
    http://beautifulswearwords.com/

  8. I’ll clarify. there’s no way in this heat that i’m drinking coffee HOT! i do ice coffee until about november. my alldays on campus are gonna require constant caffeine input, there’s no way i’ll keep anything hot or cold for that long. i have a bpa-free sport water bottle for the workout time. my mug juggling act will be spaced out by my book searching, note-taking, and peeing.

    shoe shopping today.

  9. nap, you’ve got major new age sunshine shining through today, those are some serious “envisionings” for your future. keep the pasta, it’s good for stamina, right? for the record, i think being able to communicate effectively with toddlers/preschoolers should count as a language toward a Ph D. and a “hell yeah!” to ya. we do date mid afternoons, you’re only the 3rd person i’ve come across who gets that. nice. very nice. lastly and i’ll shut up, condolences on the teether hours, been there, hated that.

  10. Tara, paying someone to play with kids so we can do grownup things makes sense. Paying someone to watch our tv after we spend all day with our kids is like paying the dentist to watch us brush. Right? Right.

  11. Nap, don’t give up on the pasta…You need the carbs to complete everything else on the list. BTW, curse words do wonders for stress management. Just think, those words have been around for a LONG time for GOOD reason…

    Hang in there. A bad attitude is expected when you have a toddler that refuses to stick with actually sleeping at night…I mean, what’s up with that? Didn’t he get the memo? Maybe that needs to be the next thing on your list…

  12. @Maria he must have had a talk with his older brother about how cool it is to wake faithfully several times a night for more than three years. Bastards, if not technically.

    @j Yup. ;-)

  13. totally right. and for us, it would probably cost more since we’d have to pay the PITA fee of kids who don’t go to sleep for hours then wake back up. no one we know will put the little “effers to sleep!

  14. Just noticed that you are one of the only people who changed to IOF on your blogroll. I love you for that. But I haven’t been there for a few weeks now. Which explains, perhaps, why you don’t come visit me anymore. So I thought I should mention that I’m back at the old place. And you should come by. And I’ll, um, make pasta. Because I miss you. And I might even put some mermaid bait/repellent out because that might help. Because I just happen to have some, and I want to see what it does. Because you’re awesome. And I’m complicated.

    But hope that your week of mad work went well and hope that you are feeling on top of the world right about now. Hugs and glitter your way.

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