To Do. (NB: This week. Seriously, hurry up already.)
1. Reconfigure novel. Move scenes to where they should go. Trim or add to make perfect.
2. Teach toddler to sleep better. Teething is no excuse for waking eight or nine times a night. He’s clearly doing this on purpose.
3. Polish journal article #3; Submit journal article #3.
4. Make pasta from scratch. Freeze.
5. Submit novel.
6. Practice Alexander Technique while awake at 11pm. 1am. And 2am. And 4am. And 5am. You don’t have to fix yourself, though.
7. Speak with sleepless toddler about his bad attitude.
8. Start college fund for kids. See if 529s accept dryer lint as deposit.
9. Write journal article #4. While writing, judge self for not doing this sooner.
10. Update LinkedIn profile and start self promotion blitz.
11. Get lots of contract editing work.
12. Learn to quilt. And cross-stitch.
13. Start etsy for sarcastic handmade stuff.
14. Complete lots of contract editing work.
15. Choose languages to learn for PhD program.
16. Practice bass. (NB: not the fish. Try sleeping, maybe, after perfecting bass. No…as I said, not the fish. Get some caffeine, maybe, while practicing bass. Seriously, what is it with you? Not. the. fish. Why would I list “practice a fish” on a list of things to do? Come on.)
17. Speak with self about bad attitude.
18. Learn two languages. as jump start on PhD requirements.
19. Design and print photo albums for grandparents’ holiday presents.
20. Arrange for sitter next month for Date Morning. Date Night means paying sitter to ignore sleeping kids, which Spouse and I do really well.
21. Write second novel.
22. Sell baby stuff on craigslist.
23. Make microloans.
24. Get part time job with great benefits.
25. Apply for PhD program.
26. Get grad school loan. Sell soul or children to ensure retirement out of debt.
27. Quit job with a year of 401k savings. That should be enough for retirement.
28. Complete PhD program.
29. Write third novel.
30. Floss more often.
Using Alexander Technique.
While composing music.
And doing gluteal exercises.