This Year in Peanut

This Week in Peanut is good enough, really, to stand for all of 2011. As always, these are swear-to-saturn quotes. No editing, no fabrication. The new year in retrospect.

Observe:

P: Is there time for one more game before bed?
M: Well, it should be bedtime, but you napped well. How does your body feel? Are you tired?
P: Well, my body feels like…how long does one game of Crazy Eights take?
M: About ten minutes.
P: Well, my body feels that in about ten minutes it will take a deep breath and relax and go to sleep.

. . .

“Mom. My name is annoyed. Because you’re annoying me.”

. . .

“Butter stop following me! Why does Butter want to do everything I’m doing? Butter, stop it! Butter you’re not fun anymore! Butter!! Butter stop! Stop it! I don’t like Butter. He’s always…where’s Butter? Hey, Butter. Want this? Butter, sweetie? Butter, pay attention, I’m showing you something. You want this Butter? Hey, Butter. Come here.”

[It’s an incessant loop playing in our house dozens of times an hour.]

. . .

“Daddy, my answer is no. Ask again and say please this time. And my answer will still be ‘no.'”

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11 thoughts on “This Year in Peanut

  1. You know those dolls where you pull a string and they say something. We need a Peanut doll. I really need a Peanut-at-Work doll for my office desk. My name IS annoyed. At least I won’t sound like a broken record… the doll will. I will also need a Traveling Peanut doll for dealing with cab drivers and hotels that overcharge me and bill me for water bottles that were not opened. And then there’s the Shopping Peanut doll for reminding cashiers that things are 20% off like the sign says.

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