Birth announcement

Here’s the announcement a hypothetical mama might send:

The Naptime Writing Family blissfully welcome Hazelnut Nutella Naptime to the world! He made his entrance March 23 weighing 7 pounds 3 ounces and measuring 19 1/4 inches. Mom, Dad, Peanut, and Hazelnut are all doing well and can’t wait to get to know each other.

But here’s the announcement a hypothetical mama really wants to send:

The Naptime Writing Family joyously announce the arrival of Hazelnut Nutella Naptime! He reluctantly joined our family March 23 after 41-plus weeks of gestation and 47 hours of labor. His mama made it through 41 hours of unmedicated labor and arrived at 10 cm dilation just in time to pull a muscle in her back. She lost all ability to cope and sobbed for two hours about acquiescing to an epidural. Hazelnut’s ginormous melon was facing posterior and get stuck under mama’s skeletal structure, so five hours of pushing wasn’t enough to get him to join the air-breathing lot of us. Mama Nappy’s doc offered several unacceptable options and Hazelnut got forced into reality with heroic pushing and expert, though traumatic, vacuuming.

Unfortunately, that mode of birthing left mama in shambles, and she bursts into tears every time someone says, “well, at least he’s healthy” or “you’ll heal” because she knows that and really wishes you’d say something supportive instead of dismissive (unless you, too, are currently sporting more than two dozen stitches in your lower body, twenty pounds of active volcanic rock on your upper body, and have made it seven days on approximately 20 hours of sleep).

Mama and Hazelnut are resting at home, where Peanut is as sweet as can be to his baby brother, and as terrible as he can be to his parents. Hazelnut is perfectly delicious, opinionated, and ravenous. His doting family are surviving just on nips of his sweet breath and heavenly sounds and hoping things get a bit easier.

But we’re not holding our breath.

32 thoughts on “Birth announcement

  1. Hi Hazelnut! Stretch your legs, look around the place. Better, huh?

    Nap, I’d offer a back massage but sounds like that’ll hurt! Um, chocolate drip? Congrats mamma, hang in there.

  2. Oh, Nap!!! *~Congratulations~*

    He is GORGEOUS. And ADORABLE. And SO VERY VERY SWEET! Welcome, Hazelnut!

    Now: I am sending *you* so many cyberhugs that there is hardly room for anything else in your immediate vicinity. Because what you went through, oh, you are amazing and goddessy and strong. And feeling tattered, no doubt, as a result. That’s EXACTLY what happened with my first, that he got stuck under my pelvic bone and had to have the vaccuum and I ripped like mad and had to be sewn and sewn and sewn. And it wasn’t anything like what I thought it was supposed to be like. And I know that with that kind of situation for you, it hurt like hell then and it hurts like hell now (do they have you sitting on a doughnut pillow, too? As if just bleeding and hurting wasn’t enough injustice). And it was scary as hell then and almost surreal now, yes? Aw, sweets. Ok. Please, oh please, just try to get some rest. And let other people do for you if they are willing. Because the only thing that’s going to help is rest and healing. And a letting go of how it was “supposed” to happen versus how it did happen. Because that horrible unexpected part is over and done with (though no less traumatic, because I know too that it’s hard not to relive, to revisit). If you need to roar, darling, roar away. Love and more hugs.

    ps: Once again, he’s absolutely beautiful.

  3. Congratulations! He is a very cute little poppet!

    And, sorry for what sounds like a terribly traumatic birth process. Best wishes for some sounds rest and swift healing!

  4. jc, thanks. I’m hangin’. ;-)
    Ink, I’m so sorry that happened to you, too! I’m only upset by the residual sensation of someone wrestling his poor head out. You know.
    But I should be clear that I would not take back the labor because it taught me volumes about myself, about the power of perception, and about trust. The only think I’m actually upset about is the damned last minute muscle spasm that wouldn’t let me continue. I was pretty freaking proud of my body’s first 41 hours and felt cheated by one little spot in my back. But, without the (really light) epidural, I couldn’t have gotten him as far as I did, so…
    squadrato, he is a poppet, now that you mention it. The new baby smell usually erases any trauma pretty quickly, so I’m on my way. Thanks for the wishes.

  5. First: congratulations! What a baby you cooked up!

    Now on to the other stuff. You have been strong, and wise, and tenacious, and that takes so much energy when you’re also coping with adjusting and healing. Please be gentle with yourself, and rest, and rant at us here if you want to, and get someone to bring you lots of chocolate or books or whatever helps even a little. I know you know this, and I know you’ll remember, but just in case, I’ll say it here–especially when you hear the “at least…”s–remember that it’s reasonable and acceptable and valid and right to feel however it is that you feel, right now and reflecting on the experience. And when we accidentally say “at least… blah blah blah,” imagine that we mean “you’ve been through a lot, and wow! you look fantastic, can I bring you a cup of tea?” And send us off to the kitchen to do some brewing.

    Also: Welcome to the world, baby boy! We’re glad to have you around. You look like a darling sweet thing. (With a name like Hazlenut Nutella, how could he not be scrumptious?)

  6. Congratulations! He’s beautiful. He also shares my birthday; it’s an awesome birthday. And he’s pretty lucky to have such a stellar mom, right from the beginning.

  7. He’s gorgeous! Congratulations!
    I love your honesty! Tho you might have cured my baby fever with that lol. Hope you feel better soon.

  8. Oh my god, I want to smooch that gorgeous baby!! Beautiful!!

    I, too, had the vacuum experience with my first, and had stitches. It was, ahem, unpleasant. It was another reason (I had a billion) that I didn’t want to have a second kid. I just sobbed and said, “is my vagina ever going to be the same again??” The whole area was so swollen and painful. It got to be the same again after a month or two (I can’t remember the exact time line, but it was no longer swollen by the six week appointment. Prior to that, I felt … uh… inside out). Sex was painful for a while. (I know you’re not thinking about that right now, but … ) Anyway, I know how you feel, and it sucks. Use the epifoam and ice packs as much as possible. I hope you have people to help take care of YOU! And the baby. But you need some TLC too.

    Anyway – congratulations on getting through the ordeal. The baby is beautiful, and I’m sure that you’ve fallen head over heels in love with him.

  9. I think I just ovulated looking at that first picture. Absolute perfection. Congrats on your new bundle. I miss that new baby smell.

    I am not sure what to say about your birth. I can’t even imagine. I’m sorry it didn’t work out like you had wished for. My sister had a similar experience . Woman like you are brave, and deserve a medal.

    When I brought J home for the first time, M was smitten but did not like me. It lasted about 4 to 6 weeks…maybe more. Now the love has been restored. It is very bizare how they decide that the Mom’s are the ones they are going to take it out on. Better us then the babies though.

    All the best to you and your family.

  10. thank you, nappy, for the truth. that’s what i wanted to read about, anyway. that is what all the birth announcements i’ve gotten over the years have been missing, the birth stories. it’s all drama, no matter what!

    nothing wrong with a vbac, nothing wrong with an epidural, nothing right having the nether regions torn asunder, nothing wrong with everyone surviving a birth. now you can move on, this time with a small, starving alien hanging off you. and a larger earthling torturing you. as it was in the beginning, so shall it continue. be sure to teach this one from now how to rub backs and feet. yours!

  11. Wow. Congratulations! Hugs. If I could send you a veggie lasagna and wash all your dishes for you by email, I would.

    As if having a new life in your arms and on your breast and in your family isn’t crazy enough, add exhaustion, trauma, pain and other people’s dismissive reactions to the mix. I hope you are getting rest and love and food and adoration and dish-washing from everyone around you.

    By the way, does Peanut have a middle name too? I love Nutella. I may have to give my Monster and Monkey middle names now.

  12. Oh to sleep that peacefully again. What a gorgeous little Hazelnut you have there.

    Seriously, though – 2 days of labor? TWO DAYS? You don’t do anything the easy way, do you, Nap? I guess heroes are just like that. (Cue Bette Middler: “Did I ever tell you you’re my hero? You’re everything, everything I wish I could be….”)

  13. Congratulations! Things are moving in the right direction (healthy baby, healing mama, new family dynamics).
    I’m sorry that you had so much trauma. One just never knows how it will go, huh? I had a discussion about birth experiences with my girlfriends this weekend. Each one of us had different ones, but our babies call us “Mommy,” however they come to us.
    Lots of hugs and healing blessings (and good drugs, I hope!)

  14. Mazel tov, my sweet. I am so, so happy for you, and join all the rest of your community here in wishing you a very speedy recovery from the travails of your labor.

    Though I have a sneaking suspicion that this was all some kind of ploy to get out of reading any more of 2666.

  15. SO, So well done. Even through the angry unhappy I want to die moments. Congratulations, my heroic and epic friend.

    And I’m still chuckling over “Hazelnut Nutella”. Love it.

  16. Oh, congratulations! He’s beautiful! I’m sorry the labor turned the way it did, but I must say I admire you for the lessons you took from it.

    (And for the adorable little guy.)

  17. (I’m not going to read the other comments because I’m sure I’m repeating. Whatever.)
    He’s beautiful!
    I’m sorry you didn’t have the labor and delivery you wanted. I know that was important to you. You’re a real champion, and the perfect delivery is the one that has a healthy baby and mama at the end. I wish I was there to help out or at least bring you some yummy food. I’ll just keep trying to send those clean house fairies and cooking brownies. And I hope Peanut adjusts a little better and can be sweeter to you.

    Hugs and kisses, mama. You’re beautiful.

  18. Oh my… he is picture perfect beauty! Now I know with 100% certainty that my son was really was alien looking when he was born. No, really, he was. i’m so thrilled for you although sorry you went through what you did. I can’t even imagine. As someone who had two C-sections, I never had to imagine.

    Enjoy him. He’s just precious!

  19. Oh dear lord, look at that baby lying there in soft white cotton and total abandon! What a very beautiful baby, and I, too, am sorry you didn’t have the ending to the birth that you had hoped for. But you have a Hazelnut Nutella – which completely sums up the scrumptiousness of a newborn little bundle of yum.

  20. Welcome to the world, darling Hazelnut. You are so cute I just want to eat you. (But I promise I won’t.) Nap, I am really sorry to hear that you had such a difficult labor. I’m not sure if it helps any but I have a friend who is a doula and she just had her 3rd baby who was also posterior. Before he was born, she was CERTAIN she was going to have, not just a wonderful birth, but an ORGASMIC birth, as both of her previous births were quite miraculous and heavenly. Well, the posterior birth kicked her ass and she ended up with a broken tailbone and other complications. Posterior birth is so terrible from everything I’ve heard. Don’t beat yourself up about the epidural. You did wonderfully and Hazelnut is absolutely precious. I hope your ladyparts heal up as fast as possible. I’ll send up lots of healing prayer to God and his magical bicycle for you. Big hugs to all of you, sweet Naptime!!

  21. Yay, yay, yay! (doing a happy dance for you right now!) Such wonderful news – well, except for the 2 days in labor part. Major ouch! You are one awesome mom! And such a beautiful little (ok, not so little) Hazelnut Nutella! I’m sorry….I can’t stop using exclamation points! I’m just so happy and excited for you all!

  22. Holy crap, that sounds like a nightmare of a labor! I hope the furry ones are behaving nicely, and I’m hoping to come by for a visit one of these days.

  23. Nap! He is perfection. Congratulations!

    Hopefully soon your mind’s defense mechanisms will work their magic and dull the more nasty memories of your labor. I, too, had to have the dreaded vacuum for my first. Definitely not fun, but definitely worth it in the end. I can’t wait to hear what you think about life with two bambinos.

    Here’s hoping you get some sleep so that you can recover….

  24. Gorgeous, gorgeous little bean, born to a freaking warrior mama. Forty-one hours of labor?! Um, don’t come over to my site for a bit…as an experiment, I’m posting my own birth story, and my piddly 12 hours would shrivel under the glow of your mightiness.

    Congratulations to the whole family.

  25. Oh so so so gorgeous. Welcome baby boy Nap. Congratulations! Sorry the birth didn’t go as planned but in the end you still got this gorgeous precious baby. Congratulations!

  26. I am at the airport, gradually starting to “plug back in” and had to check on our Hazelnut Nutella.

    I am so happy that he’s here. Aching to nuzzle that little head. And I’m sorry that Peanut has gone all feisty-britches on you…he just wants to keep his mama’s mind sharp, mind you.

    And Holy Vaginal Assholery, Sister! HOW much tearing did that little guy do to you? He obviously has massive brains like his mama. And because I know you, I’m certain you are NOT partaking of any of the copious and wonderful painkillers out there (you know which route THIS wimp would be going). You are a woman of true fortitude.

    Sorry you cried about the epi. You were so close, and had done all of the hardest work already. I think you get an honorary degree.

    Congrats to you and your lovely family. I wish I lived closer so I could bring you some crack cheese rolls. xoxo

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