I swear…

If I make it through this year I deserve a prize. Not a “health care is finally a bit more humane now that we’ve managed the middle man a smidge” award. Not a “saving lives” or even “making lives better” award. Not an award for patience, heaven knows; nor an award for treating man or beast well. Not an award that says “thanks for making the plant better and humanity seem less terrible.”

Just a plain old “making it through each day without offing yourself or anyone else, trying your best to be respectful, watching your mouth, and doing your best to be and raise a decent citizen by the skin of your teeth” award.

If you deserve one, too, by all means, give yourself one. Heck, give yourself one for each day you make it through. I’d offer to give you an award, or create some cute little certificate for you to print, but if you saw the list of other things I need to do and the basic Euclidean-space-temporal framework in which I’m forced to operate, you’d do the work for me.

Happy Freaking Solstice. Hope your night is nigh as long as mine.

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9 thoughts on “I swear…

  1. You can have mine. It’s from 1995. I’ll dust it off and shine it up for you. It should hold up nicely in your Euclidean space time thingermerbob.
    Happier Solstice?

  2. Please send me the award for: Most Tolerant of the Snoring Husband who Sounds like a Water Buffalo…was exhausted today so I hit the sack at 9, and here I am at 11:15, awake with the water buffalo snorter in my bed.

  3. You know what? I totally gave myself that award today. It happened to take the form of a big, hot, buttery cinnamon-sugar pretzel from Target, along with five minutes to myself while my husband fruitlessly scanned the sportswear section for me.

    If I could fold time and space, I’d give you half that pretzel right now. Maybe I could fax one…

  4. me me me! I’ll take one of those awards! Today I’d like one for being confined to the walls of my house caring for a strep-throat ridden 4 year old who was angry at the world and not totally losing it (I kind of did but not TOTALLY). And I’ll take a photocopy of the Kitchen Witch’s award for dealing with the water buffalo snoring husband who won’t admit he snores and keeps me up all hours of the night.

    Yes, Yes we all deserve one of these… I’ll wait patiently until mine is ready.

  5. Have I told you how much I missed reading you?
    Does this award have any other benefits like chocolate or caffiene? (I know. Pregnant. But still, chocolate?)

    • Fae, for you this award comes with a special Kahlua milkshake will all the alcohol effects and a special placenta barrier that keeps the Mommy mojo from crossing that sacrosanct border. Nifty, eh? It’s patented.

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