“Look
I understand too little too late
I realize there are things you say and do
You can never take back
But what would you be if you didn’t even try
You have to try
So after a lot of thought
I’d like to reconsider
Please
If it’s not too late
Make it a cheeseburger”
–Lyle Lovett
O/T
are you trying to stop woodpeckers from drumming on your house?
if so, take 1-inch wide silvery discoball shiny present-wrapping ribbon that comes in a little roll, cut it into about 2-ft long pieces, and tack the ribbon to the areas that look drummed up. woodpeckers hate reflective shiny objects so mirrors would work, but ribbon is much cheaper and you don’t have to worry about it.
if no pecker problem, ignore me.
ok, sorry, did you say cheeseburger?
Okay, but shiny ribbon looks like crap hanging from a house. So make a mirror mobile.
And if I had a pony I’d ride him on my boat. And we could all together go out on the ocean; me upon my pony on my boat.
And Sarah, I know…every time he pauses, I’m waiting for him to ask the old love back or turn down a job or something monumental. But not as HUGELY monumental as adding cheese to your burger. And green chile, of course.
And if I were Roy Rodgers
I’d sure enough be single
I couldn’t bring myself to
Marrying old Dale–
It’d just be me and Trigger
We’d go riding through them movies,
And we’d buy a boat and on the sea we’d sail.
Love you, Nap. Lyle, too.
OK, I’m laughing at jc’s comment! It’s me, jc, me! I’m the one with the damn woodpecker!!!
Anyhow, thanks for posting this. I said some things this morning to my kid and now I realize I just ordered the wrong thing. LOL! Kidding.
Oh my dear goodly goodness I love me some Lyle and haven’t heard this in years.
Thanks for the fond memories. His voice is playing in my ear. And the dramatic pause between a…..cheeeeeeseburger…. oh I love it.
gibby with the pecker prob,
i’ve tacked/stapled ribbon strips up in 3 minutes, i meant to lay them flat against the house where you see drum marks. if you prefer the martha stewart approach to pecker distracting as opposed to tim the toolman taylor’s style, mirror mobiles would work too if you have one go-to pecker spot. my former pecker squatters drummed on every damn corner and the garage and shed. Mobiles would have made the place look like the mom’s house in the Twister movie.
nap, i think peckers make dillholes. :)
“Gibby with the pecker prob?” Okay, giggling like a middle-schooler…
Ok, I have to admit that I don’t know any Lyle Lovett songs other than the one really famous one that I can’t think of the name of (so maybe, actually, I don’t know any). But, oh, how I loved his performance as detective in The Player.
Ink, you are forgiven. I will make you a mix tape of his best and most hilarious.
jc and gibby and the peckers of the world, it only takes one mobile per ten feet of house, so depending on how big your house is…we had three sides of the house and one side of the garage mobiled and it didn’t look nearly as bad as the neighbors who hung long strips of the mylar. But they did vertical, not jc’s horizontal. Who knows. Just get those damned birds away. Because it only takes a little spackle but a lot of patience to have those f—ers wake you up every day.
That made my night. Thanks.