Delightful, delightful three year old

[Cast of characters: P=Peanut, age 3; M=Me, Mama, age considerably older than 3; S=Spouse. age considerably advanced during the course of this week]

S: Please sit on your knees or bottom
P: [screaming] I get to do whatever I want!

S: Tonight we wash hair, P.
P: After I get out of the bath, I will hit you.

M: Honey, do you need help with the scissors?
P: No. [tries, tries, tries] These won’t work on paper. Now I will just cut you, Mommy.

P: [beating on his friend] We share! Did you hear me? We share!

M: Let’s go, P.
P: If you put on your shoes, I will hit you.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it’s a dang good thing we named him with the following criteria: must work well after ‘Supreme Court Justice’ AND ‘recently indicted.’ Take a guess which one will probably apply.

14 thoughts on “Delightful, delightful three year old

  1. Yes you need to do as Dora says: Take a deep breath in. Breathe out!
    Hilarious though, his fascination with cutting and hitting.

  2. Ah, you have been lucky enough to stumble into what I call “The Hideous 3’s.” MUCH worse than those milk-toast “terrible two’s.”

    And yes, for the next oh, 8-12 months or so, you will be certain that Peanut has ‘Serial Killer’ written all over him.

  3. hahahahahaha…wanna fly back East for a little while? You can 1) come without him and get waited on hand-and-foot or 2) bring him with you and expose him to so much pink and dress-up and Barbies he will be bored into submission.

  4. btw, kitch, I hope it’s only another 6 months, ‘cuz we’re six months into three. This bs started the week before his birthday and has let up all of three times: one day he was randomly lovely, one day I was sick as a dog and he spared me, and one day I abdicated and put Spouse in charge while I read an entire novel cover to cover in my underwear in bed. P was terrible, but I had no problem with it under those circumstances. ;-)

  5. who made the rule that spanking little terrors is a bad thing? i’m just wondering… did they happen to be three?

  6. Sounds like the criteria of “now batting..” might aptly apply as well ;) Hang in there! You know there’s a place not too far from you where he can come visit :)

  7. Those kinds of conversations wear me out. (Roo, can you please do X? I don’t want to! I don’t like you!) Whew.

    Just breathe…and know that it’s the threes talking. (At our house, we called it the terrible threes. Twos were sweet. Threes? Insanity.)

    • @ ink You know, twos were tough but we made it through with all our vital organs intact. I have a friend who says it’s Terrible Twos, Throw Me Under the Bus Threes, and F—ing Fours. Well, I can’t handle an escalation. But I did find a good book lately that I’ll post about. It’s helping some. So is the nausea and exhaustion and general existential questioning of all my choices. Makes it an extra special freak out every time. Kodak?

  8. I don’t know If I said it already but …Hey good stuff…keep up the good work! :) I read a lot of blogs on a daily basis and for the most part, people lack substance but, I just wanted to make a quick comment to say I’m glad I found your blog. Thanks,)

    A definite great read..


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