John Hughes, we need you!

Mr. Hughes, could you make a few movies for the dorks and dweebs and losers amongst us, who, at mid-life, still haven’t figured it out, and who were holding out hope that the popular and not-nice people in high school would turn out painfully unattractive (pockmarked with the reality of their blotchy souls or at least saggy and droopy from the ill-advised production and subsequent ignoring of their spawn) and unemployed (or at least pursuing some morally turgid career like RNC strategist) and perversely alone, but who facebook now shows us are all toned and tanned and really rich and by no means socially ostracized as we had so hoped they would be? One, ideally, that shows us how we might still have a chance at making a difference and being loved by the people who are beautiful on the inside and who really will, soon, shun the same shallow and vapid people they were *supposed* to have shunned by graduation, at the latest?!

Kind of like a Thirty-Eight Candles or The ‘Why Bother with Breakfast When My Life is in the Toilet’ Club or something?