Moving recipes

So we’re leaving next week and I have to get rid of a lot of food. Not the bulk, dried, Lassen‘s stuff. That travels well. I’m talking half-eaten stuff in the fridge that I didn’t consider a liability when I bought it, but now fully intend to avoid in the future.

I’m mostly writing this post to mess with the foodies out there who tag surf recipes. Not that I don’t appreciate a good meal; I do. I’ll post a top ten later, but suffice it to say it’s 30% Boston and 70% SF/Berkeley.

Back to the overstock of sandwich fixin’s in my fridge and the realization that I’ve got to empty it and clean it asap. All canned goods go in the earthquake box and get stuffed in the POD, until we actually have a place to live. Yes, I included a can opener. (What is this—my first year in earthquake country?) So, planet and plates and seismic faults, please don’t shift too much before we can unpack the POD.

Here’s what’s on the menu for the rest of the week:

That’s right. You will have a pickle with that meal. Having cereal? Fine. Have a pickle, too. Pesto for lunch (it’s much better these days, Lenni, because I went to a finer grate of parmesan. sorry for the schlock you had to eat). That looks like it needs a pickle, too.

Ravioli and hummus
Who needs sauce–there are a variety of goops in the fridge that need eating. So anything smearable goes on hot pasta. Funny thing is, Peanut LOVES this particular garbage disposal combination. I haven’t served up the week’s finale, pasta and jam, yet. I’ll bet he likes it. Hasn’t had jam more than once, but it’s sugar and fruit. How can that be wrong?

Overloaded pizza
Frozen organic pizza, with all the veggies from this week’s farmer’s market crammed on top. And a layer of braised tofu that nobody ate. And a sprinkling of sprouted flax seeds that were supposed to change our lives but never come out of the cupboard. Sure the heat of baking will kill them and make them pointless. Doesn’t stop all those people who buy flaxseed bread.

Veggie burgers a la sodium
Today’s special is double condiments. All veggie burgers will be served with extra mustard, organic ketchup, a full dose of Frank’s hot sauce, enough pickle relish to choke a horse, and some organic barbeque sauce. (I know we didn’t like it the first time, but we’re not throwing it away. There are starving children in the world, and Uncle John can’t mail them his leftovers anymore. Now eat.)

Party mix
Not a cracker and nut deal–this is leftover sodas from various parties with whatever liquor is left in the cabinet (which is a lot because I don’t usually drink). But I’m willing to take one for the team ‘cuz there’s no freaking way I’m throwing out even mediocre booze. So I’ve tried a few recipes…Whole Foods all-natural cola with rum is okay, even though that sorry can has been in the fridge for years because I can’t bear to try an alternative to my huge-brand cr*ck c*caine soda. Jones creme soda with Amaretto is not that good, but I managed to choke it down (I was finishing the caramel sauce, because who wants to pack that, with pretzels, and the Jonesaretto was just too sweet). Rice milk and Kahlua is worse than I expected. Maybe with protein powder next time? Margarita mix and club soda is just bad, probably because mixer-on-mixer actions wants for a certain je ne c’est quoi–of, wait, I do know. It is missing alcohol. Tonic water and vodka is quite yummy…hey, wait, that’s a real drink. I thought I was a genius mixologist for a while there.

All grains muffins
Just because a recipe calls for wheat flour doesn’t mean you can’t use the last of the quinoa flakes. Or that brown sugar can’t be almond simple syrup because that’s what you have. It’s not like baking is a science, or that toddlers are picky. I mean, come on.

We are gonna be HUNGRY when we get to the temporary digs…

2 thoughts on “Moving recipes

  1. Four things… 1) Las Vegas better get an honorable mention in that top 10. 2) No one will ever know (really) if you just compost everything (and you may even still get into heaven). 3) You went out of your way to put the “Whole Foods” before “all-natural cola” which I thought strange because I don’t usually think of you as a brand whore, but then you follow it up with “rum,” which just tells me that you are a actually a brand whore with a priority problem. Why can’t you be more like your brother? “Left over cola with 10 Cane” is probably how I would have described it; but that is because I am, in the words of Amanda Hirsch who you don’t know: not an “alcoholic” but, rather, an “alcohol enthusiast.” You, on the other hand, while not an organicist, seem to be a bit of an organophile who looks at the “organic” qualifier as a sign of quality. Take it from someone who knows: it would take a bushel and a peck of conventional apples to equal the damage a body sustains from but one ounce of rail rum. Compost the organic BBQ sauce, spare the Hangar One and molotov the Pepe Lopez. 4) Just let me know (seriously) if you don’t want me commenting like this. I’ll respect your request (seriously).

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