Me: Peanut, get your shoes. We have to go.
5YO: Mom, we don’t have to go.
Me: Good point. We don’t have to. We should and I want to.
5YO: But I don’t. So I won’t.
***
Me: Butter, feet on the floor please.
1YO: [laughing] Nah nah nah.
Me: Feet down, please. Tables are dangerous.
1YO: [laughing, running for other side of table] Nah nah nah.
Me: Yes, yes yes.
5YO: Mom, you just told him yes to climb. That’s confusing him.
***
Me: Peanut, we need to clean this up before bed.
5YO: Well, we don’t need to. You just want to. So you do it.
Me: Well, I don’t want to play with it, so maybe I’ll just give it away.
5YO: No you won’t. We need toys.
Me: You don’t really need it. You want it.
5YO: No. You’re wrong. I need it.
***
You, young man, make excellent points. Now go make them to your new teacher, heaven help her.
NaptimeWriting 
Good lord. I particularly like, “We don’t need to–you want to–so you go do it.” Ah, that sassy little brainiac.
Yes! Go conquer the world with dat sass.
ahahahahahahhaaaahha…..i’m laughing cause i’m with you….oh poor teachers…
How is it even possible not to laugh when they speak like this?
Of course, he won’t open his mouth for the first six months of school, and I’ll get 13 hours of sass crammed into the 8.5 hours he’s home…
totally! i’m lucky, my town is half day kindergarten so hopefully it won’t get too pent up.
Reminds me of my oldest at about that age (well, really still) and how he’s “the negotiator”. I don’t quite like it.
Believe me, Cathy, I know. I like what he’ll be to his adult friends some day. But whoooooooeeeee.
Absence, I might need to start!
Ink, I’m tempted to read him Plath…
Beckett? You have read Peanut Waiting for Godot as bedtime story haven’t you?
Ha ha! What Absence said…
You have your hands full. Plus, he needs to start practicing somewhere for the incredible logic needed to run the entire Universe. My motor mouths did not make a peep in school till the end of May…However, the minute we got in the car, they made up for lost time…Godspeed to you!
Parenting is hard. Parenting smart, bright children is harder. Good luck with that.