Naming dilemma

When I began this blog I knew I didn’t want to use my son’s name, since there is a creepy-ass element on these interwebs from whom I will seek, potentially in vain, to protect him.

But calling him Peanut is problematic now that he is older and bigger. And now that his brother has arrived, it’s too hard to make casual references to ages so readers have enough info about the differences between Peanut and Hazelnut, the delicious name given our newest dude by The Kitch Witch, who swore he’d be a girl.

So do I go with Eldest and Youngest as some on my blogroll do? Preschooler and Baby, changing their designations as they age? #1 and #2 as those of us who’ve moved beyond fourth grade humor will undoubtedly still giggle about? Intense Dude and Tiny Dude? Clearly the latter would have to change, again as Hazelnut gets more personality.

Not sure how to handle the naming of children on blogs.

And can’t believe I just wasted this many words just thinking out loud. Now, you tell me how or why you chose to refer to your children online (or how and why you vote for naming our little nuts.)

31 thoughts on “Naming dilemma

  1. Such a dilemma. I don’t use my kids’ names (or any pictures of them, or reveal our exact location) because my partner is pretty creeped out by the whole thing. But I do prefer some kind of naming over #1 and #2 or preschooler and baby.

    I love the blog names I’ve chosen for my kids – Monster and Monkey – but I now realize how easy it is to get them confused (perhaps an eventual problem for you too, with 2 nuts?).

    I also find it cumbersome to have to always give age references – the 4-year-old Monster, my Monkey the toddler, etc.

    I love names, and I love knowing what other people name their kids, so for selfish reasons, I am sad other people don’t share their kids’ names.

    I particularly like what Blue Milk has done: she gave her kids pseudonyms that are real names, which seem to really suit them and reflect a definite naming style. I would have tried something similar if I hadn’t already given my kids the only nice Spanglish boy names in the whole world.

    (Who would have thought I would have so much to say about blog names?)

  2. I agree- it’s actually not nearly as mundane as it sounds. One blog I read uses saint names for her three. Another uses pseudonyms that use the first letter of their names, but it’s still a nickname- like Freckles for Faith, or something. I use pseudonyms that refer to their real names, but are not their real names. Cartoon characters. Literary characters, or movie people. Maybe just letters. Lots of ways to go. Those of us who read you would keep P-nut and H-nut straight, but your newer readers probably would need explanation. Good luck!

  3. I went with “the Critter,” which is his real-life nickname, as an homage to Raising Arizona, a kick-ass movie about babies and one of my all-time favorites. It beats the crap out of the nonsense nicknames my mother gave my brother and me as kids, of which the less said the better.

    As for your wonderful two, how about Sundae and Scoop, which both imply sweetness and give a hint about relative size. Or is “Sundae” too feminine?

  4. Well, “Tankbaby” is actually what we have sometimes called my darling (if burly) son, but now that he’s approaching toddlerhood, I am also wondering about the name game. Does he just get promoted to Tanktoddler? Somehow that doesn’t…sing.

    Would you buy Peanut and Wee-nut?

  5. I use my kids’ names, but don’t really do pictures that show their faces. I think I would be too confused (I mean, more than I typically am) in trying to write about them if I used nicknames or pseudonyms.

    As it is, I can’t keep the three of them straight.

    Your answer will come to you. You will do what is right for your family…and that is all that you can do.

  6. As a reader, I think fake names that are still real people names are easiest to remember and follow, but I’m cool with whatever. Nut#1 and Nut#2? Okay. Big nuts and little nuts? Hmm, I don’t think I’d recommend that one…

  7. nicknames i call them. mimi and beenie. close to real without being too close. i started out calling them a and b, like when they lived in my gut, but then that wasn’t enough somehow once they started being humans.

  8. I like how KitchyWitchy calls her kids Miss M and Miss D.

    I kinda like Pnut and Hnut. LOL for big nut and lil nut.

  9. Well, as you know, I currently use eldest and baby, but I sort of just fell into that. The reason I don’t use my kids’ real names is because I started my blog as a way to vent about my job situation, and I wanted more anonymity so I could be as honest as possible. That said, I haven’t kept my location a secret. I guess it’s all about what you feel comfortable revealing and what the purpose of the blog is. One of my friends uses her real name, her kids’ names and pictures because the purpose of her blog is to share with family who live far away.

    So I guess the question in my mind is this: what or who are you writing for? Intended audience may determine what you call your kids. And actually that question about why you’re writing — why any of us bloggers are writing — may be an interesting post in and of itself. Maybe I will write about that soon. Hmmm.

  10. Hmmm, indeed.

    I, too, am laughing at big nut and little nut. After all, P started that comparing a few weeks ago, right?

    I really want to know what Dan’s mom called him. Anybody else? Come on, Dan. You brought it up. And tried to name my children after frozen confections, which I dig, but makes me wonder even more what your family called you.

    The only problem with P-nut and H-nut, which I love, is that P is actually an H in real life, and H is neither an H nor a P. So people who know them will be wicked confused. And I can’t switch now and call P “H-nut” and call H “B-nut” because that would throw those who don’t know them. And me, because P’s pseudonym is kind of ingrained by now.

    The nickname thing could work, because that’s where Peanut came from. But he’s too big to be a Peanut anymore, and calling him Bug, which I sometimes do, is way too The Hours for my taste.

    Literary characters, sure. Fake but real names, yes. Movie or cartoon characters, yes. My dad calls P “Calvin” after — and Hobbes, so maybe those should be their names? I rather like that. Unless baby turns out to be either striped, philosophically precocious, or feral.

    Bah. Humbug.

  11. Oh dear, I’ve saddled poor Hazelnut. Please give my apologies!

    I struggled with that, too. I’ve always called Miss D. by that moniker, but not Miss M. So it seems slightly fake to call her that, but I already have been doing it so long and I’m lazy.

    And come on Dan, spill!

    • Oh, sweet Witch, we love the name or wouldn’t use it. I want to keep it because it’s from you. It just doesn’t say enough about ages or how he’s different than the older one.

  12. When I began my blog it was more as a way to keep my family and friends in touch with our new life overseas. And I include many pictures. I guess I thought, who will really be interested in reading about my life (imagine my ignorance with the internet world). Anyways I use the nickname we gave our daughter, although sometimes I use her first name. But really if you think about it, it could also be a ‘fake name’ who really knows right?

    ok I will stop rambling, my point is you will find the right ‘nickname’ when referring to your kids. You will know what feels right.


  13. I use my kids names and I regret it. But I feel like at this point, it’s like trying to reclaim my virginity… impossible.

  14. Ah, well… here’s the rub.

    While I tag my beloved (but not legally recognized!) husband and (legally finalized as of a couple of weeks ago!) son with blog monikers over at my place, I blog and comment with my real name. And, in all fairness to my mother, I really don’t mean to embarrass her on the Internet, even if she were never to come across the posts herself.

    Suffice it to say, many of the nicknames were the kind of nonsense words that parents give their kids privately, which then distressingly percolated into regular, in-front-of-other-people use.

  15. “The only problem with P-nut and H-nut, which I love, is that P is actually an H in real life, and H is neither an H nor a P. So people who know them will be wicked confused.”

    You must have taken this from the “wicked” Bostonian GRE prep book. P is an H, and H isn’t a H or P, and P can’t get on Train 1, but H has been on Train 3 and can transfer to Train 4. Train 2 sucks and doesn’t like A or B. Who can ride Train 15?

    • lol, jc. Except in the Boston GRE book, P can’t get on the red line and H can’t ride the green line, but they both need to end at the Aquarium stop. It’s wicked haaad and wicked ohwasome.

  16. I use real names and I use nick names and photographs… never anything compromising. Sometimes I think I should have used pseudonyms but my husband and I have very public profile that involves so much of our private lives that it really wouldn’t have made any difference in the end. Beside people are much more likely to stalk my husband than me. But I respect the choice to choose!

  17. Hmmm. I thought about that a lot too, so it is not just you. I tend to bring up their ages, e.g. my 7 yo, my 6th grader, because often the age is required to highlight my point. For instance, WTF is my 6th grader on Facebook talking about dating?! See? That’s very important.

  18. I used to ride Orange to Red to and fro work everyday. The nuts will be fine with the rents.

  19. I like the nuts, but whatever you want to do, I’ll follow. I started blogging using my boys’ real names because the first blogs I read used their kids’ names. After a month or so of writing, I started to think about using nicknames but felt I locked myself into it. Besides there are tons of Evans and Seans who would find me, even if I do have a security issue, but I doubt that person knows the names of my kids.

  20. Almond Joy and Mounds? (sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t)

    yes, I fell off my rocker.

    • great. now I want Halloween candy, jc.

      Peanut and Butter, maybe. Everybody loves butter, it’s easy on the palate and the eyes, it makes everything taste better. It does tend to scorch when cooking, but so do children.

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